Girlfriend  Will Not Be Finished
by Brii-sama
Summary: Please see profile for explanation and look for rewrite - coming soon.
1. Hey You

A/N: Right, so I _should_ be working on my other story, but I can't get this damn idea out of my head! ARGH! Noooo, don't kill me! The gay deer made me do it! I swear! It's all their fault! **ducks to avoid any objects flying towards her head** Gay deer! Also, I'M A UNICORN!

Story Based On: 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne (THE GAY DEER! I SWEAR!), 'OK2BGAY' by Tomboy, and 'My Boyfriend' presented by MCR (kudos to anyone who knows what I'm talking about with MCR singing 'My Boyfriend' and the gay deer comment.) **coughs nervously** Whaaat…

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or it's characters. This is the first and only disclaimer you will see throughout this whole story.

The Author would like to state that she is on some very hard crack. Unfortunately, due to its nature, it is very hard to transport very far. Therefore, she is unable to share any with you and for that she is apologetic.

Freck, almost forgot the warnings.

Warnings: **THERE IS FREAKING YAOI IN HERE! DO**_** NOT**_** READ IF YOU **_**DO NOT LIKE**_** YAOI! IF I KNEW HOW TO MAKE THIS MORE NOTICABLE I WOULD! THERE IS YAOI IN HERE! IF YOU DON'T LIKE YAOI DON'T READ! **

The first person to complain about it being a yaoi story will be ridiculed in the next chapter. Ridicule as in pause in the middle of the story and proceed to read the person's comment to everyone and then make scathing remarks about their intelligence or lack thereof. DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT YAOI BEING IN THIS STORY. I've said it twice now, in bold and underline. I don't know how to warn you anymore than I already have.

Also, there is a bit of Sakura bashing, but I'm going to make sure there's not too much.

Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto

Side Pairings: Lee/Neji, Kisame/Itachi

**Chapter One: Hey You**

Sasuke tapped his pencil irritably on his desk. It was two minutes before the bell rang and he was a little more than impatient, especially since all they had planned on doing today was take a test and, being the prodigy he was, the Uchiha had finished in the first fifteen minutes. Leaving forty-five minutes of free time that he could do almost nothing with. The most productive thing he could do during the time was stare at the person in front of him, which just so happened to be his closest friend and fellow 'Prince of the School', Hyuuga Neji. Sighing in frustration, Sasuke propped his head up with one hand and used his free hand to drum his fingers on the tabletop. One could only stare at Neji's body for so long before getting brainwashed. With each passing second, Sasuke became more and more annoyed until finally the bell rang. The Uchiha was up and out of the class before anyone had even finished grabbing all of their books. Neji rolled his eyes and shouldered his own bag before following his friend out and striding to catch up with him. Hyuugas do not _run_ to catch up to _anyone_.

"You seem a bit more agitated today than is normal." Sasuke scowled, a look not alien to his face at all.

"It's an annoying waste. Do you have _any_ idea what I could have accomplished in the time I was just sitting there? I could have started on a cure for cancer, or figured out how to take over the world!" Neji scoffed, rolling his eyes a bit.

"Like you haven't already."

"That's not the point. These rules are so damned annoying!" He raised his voice a few pitches, purposely badly mimicking their teacher.

"'You can't have anything out while other people are still testing. It's distracting to the other students. Just put your head down when you finish your test.' We're not little kids anymore! Why the hell do they have all these tedious rules?!" Neji just listened patiently. He was used to having Sasuke rant at him and had learned to be quiet and let the Uchiha vent his anger. They reached their lockers and Neji rolled his eyes as he pulled a fancy heart-shaped card with rhinestones off his locker door. Sasuke snorted and pulled a similar one off his door, tossing it into the trashcan near their lockers. Neji cocked an eyebrow as he threw out his own.

"What if that was from Sakura?"

"I don't really care. I'll just say I never got it."

"Not a very caring boyfriend, are you." Sasuke sniffed in disdain and unlocked his locker door, scowling at the cards a few girls had managed to slip through the slits in the door.

"Our relationship is for appearance purposes only." Neji just shook his head and emptied his locker of it's own messages of love before exchanging his textbooks out for the ones he needed for his next classes. Once they had everything they needed, the two heirs headed for the courtyard where upperclassmen were allowed to eat lunch. Once outside, they were met up by two of their peers, Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura. The latter quickly clung to Sasuke's arm, green eyes shining with love.

"Sasuke-kun, did you get my card?" The Uchiha tried to shake her off subtly and rolled his eyes.

"No. Someone must have taken it." The pink-haired girl pouted, not noticing his attempts to dislodge her.

"Someone always does. Those other girls are just jealous that you're mine." Neji kept his face impassive, but on the inside he was sighing. Sakura was absolutely and completely in love with Sasuke, while the Uchiha heir couldn't care less for her. The only reason he dated her was to rise to expectations: the best looking guy in school was expected to go out with the prettiest girl, which, by majority vote, was Sakura.

"Sasuke-kun, I brought you some lunch!" Sasuke rolled his eyes again and sat down on one of the benches, Sakura sitting right next to him so it looked like she was glued to his side. Neji sat on Sasuke's other side while Ino sat extremely close to him. The Hyuuga had left himself available, turning down all offers of a relationship since middle school. As such, this made him one of the most desired males in the school, right up there with Sasuke and the pretty English teacher, Umino Iruka. While Sasuke and Neji ate in silence, Ino and Sakura chatted about gossip. In Sasuke's mind, one of the few perks of dating the Haruno girl was he knew almost everything about everyone, their families, their third cousin, and their creepy neighbor down the street about five houses. Sakura was, without a doubt, the gossip queen of Konoha High.

"I heard we were getting two new transfer students some time today!"

"Oh, I heard that too! I also hear they're both guys." Sakura giggled.

"I hope they're cute." She spoke quickly, clinging to Sasuke's arm again.

"But there's no way they could be as cute as Sasuke-kun! I'll always be true to my one and only love!" Neji refrained from mentioning that Sakura's 'one and only love' looked as though he liked dirt more than he liked her. Ino didn't notice either as she spoke to Neji in that same tone Sakura used when talking to Sasuke.

"So, Neji-kun, how do you like the lunch I made for you?" Looking down at what was in his lap, a bento box with rice and little pieces of tough, leathery fish, Neji stopped himself from making a face.

"It's…unique."

'_Unique' as in 'I had no idea you could get fish to be the same taste and texture of really old leather'._

"But I'm not very hungry right now." Closing the box, he handed it back to the girl before standing and shouldering his bag.

"I'm going to spend a bit of time in the library to do homework." He nodded to the three left, caught Sasuke's glare of betrayal, and hurried back into the building. Ino quickly gathered up her things, waved to Sakura, and hurried after him. Sasuke's eye twitched as Sakura pressed even closer to him, batting her eyelashes in what she thought was an alluring way. The Uchiha ignored her and concentrated on eating. He had refused Sakura's lunch, having brought his own instead.

"Um…Sasuke-kun…" He glanced at her briefly before looking back at his food.

"What."

"Well, I was just thinking. Since it's just the two of us…with no one interrupting us…"

"We're in the middle of the courtyard. We're _surrounded_ by people." The pink-haired girl blushed a bit in embarrassment, but quickly recovered herself.

"R-right. But…since no one's bothering us…"

"Oi, Uchiha." Grateful for the interruption, even though Sakura wasn't, the heir looked up to see one of the few people in the school who did better than him, Nara Shikamaru. The other male looked rather bored and lightly annoyed, the former emotion not at all uncommon on his face, and neither was the latter.

"What."

"The dean wants you to go see her. Hyuuga-sempai as well." Since there were two Hyuugas in the school, Neji was referred to as 'Hyuuga-sempai' whereas his younger cousin, Hinata, was referred to as 'Hyuuga-kun'.

"All right." Gathering up his things, Sasuke moved to head inside. Sakura hurried to go with him, but Shikamaru stopped her.

"_Just_ Uchiha and Hyuuga-sempai." Sakura looked indignant.

"But I'm Sasuke-kun's girlfriend!"

"How nice." Crossing her arms over her chest, the pink-haired girl scowled.

"I don't think you understand. I'm Sasuke-kun's _girlfriend._" This title allowed Sakura to some of the best things the school had to offer, such as the best place to sit on the bus, the best chair, the best table, and the best/last dessert. The title, apparently, did not impress Shikamaru, who just rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I heard you the first time. But unlike some of the other people in this school, I really don't care. The dean said _just_ Uchiha and Hyuuga-sempai, _not_ Uchiha, Hyuuga-sempai, and Uchiha's girlfriend. And when it comes down to her word against yours, the _real_ queen of the school wins." Defeated and upset about it, Sakura called to Sasuke.

"I'll see you later, Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke didn't even bother to acknowledge the cheerleader as he stepped into the now quiet halls. He headed for the dean's office, long stride eating up the distance. He met up with Neji on the way and they continued in silence for a bit before Neji spoke up.

"Nara kept Sakura from following you, huh."

"Yeah. Same with Ino?"

"Thankfully."

"I suppose he's not so bad."

"He just doesn't like Sakura, or Ino. I've heard him quite a few times remark on how troublesome they and all girls are." Sasuke gave a short bark of laughter. They arrived at the dean's office and Neji knocked on it, both waiting for the headmistress to allow them to enter.

"Come in." The headmistress's assistant, Shizune, opened the door and the two boys stepped in. Sitting behind a rather large, oak desk was the headmistress of Konoha High, Godaime Tsunade. The rather beautiful woman smiled almost evilly as the two boys came in and sat down.

"I'm glad you two could be so prompt. You're probably wondering why you're here." The two nodded.

"And no doubt you've heard of the rumors about two transfer students coming here." Again, the two nodded. Tsunade smiled one of those 'I'm about to make your life a living Hell and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it' smiles she had.

"I want you two to help them get used to the school." Neji, having spent an undeterminable amount of time with his uncle, managed to fight back the urge to shout. Sasuke, having yet to completely learn his brother's mask of cool indifference, leapt up.

"_What?!_" Tsunade's smile did not falter. In fact, it looked like she was smiling even more.

"You two have the exact same schedules, if I'm not mistaken, so it's not as if you will have to shoulder the burden alone, if you do in fact consider it as such."

"Damn right I do! Why the Hell should I show some moron around school?!"

"Because I told Godaime-sama that you would be happy to." Neji turned and immediately bowed his head in respect.

"Uchiha-sempai." Sasuke's whole body seemed to shrivel up in absolute fury as he slowly turned around to face his older brother, Itachi. The elder Uchiha had on one of his emotionless masks on, the only indication to what he was feeling being the small, almost invisible upturn of his lips, indicating a smug grin.

"You. Did. _What?_" Itachi's smirk widened a bit and he leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I told the Godaime-sama that you would be happy to help with showing the transfer students around school. It would be such a…_different_ kind of learning experience and unless I'm mistaken, which I'm usually not, you were just recently complaining about how you were _so bored_ with all the same old rules and going-ons of school." If Sasuke could have killed his brother right then and there, he would have. Unfortunately, if he killed Itachi, he would have to live with a foster family and he wouldn't be able to claim the Uchiha fortune until he was eighteen. Since Itachi was in fact eighteen, they were allowed to live together without 'adult' supervision. So Itachi was safe. Well, he was safe anyway since he was by far a better fighter than Sasuke. Anyway, Sasuke's eye twitched as he tried to think of a proper word to describe his true feelings for the elder Uchiha. Taking his little brother's silence for admitted defeat, Itachi smirked.

"You _should_ be thanking me."

"I hate you."

"I love you too, otouto-chan. Godaime-sama." The blonde woman grinned and nodded.

"Uchiha-kun. Now, as for you two, you will of course be getting extra credit for doing this. The transfer students will be arriving soon and I've directed them to the courtyard. They've been given your names and descriptions, so they'll be able to find you. Now, off you go." Neji stood and nodded to Tsunade while Sasuke just stormed out. Itachi was waiting for them by the door, inspecting his purple nail polish. Once outside, Sasuke glared at his older brother.

"You bastard."

"Were I truly a bastard, that would make you one as well as it would mean our parents weren't married."

"You asshole."

"There you go." Growling, Sasuke clenched his fists and glared at Itachi as hard as he could.

"You just want me to do this damn student transfer thing so you can have more time with Kisame." Smirking, Itachi moved off the wall and started down the hall.

"You better believe it, otouto-chan."

"Goddamn you!" Itachi grinned back at him.

"You're just mad because you're stuck with the Queen of Prima Donnas when you really want to be with another guy." At Sasuke's look, the elder Uchiha laughed and left them standing in front of Tsunade's office, his laughed echoing through the halls. And probably ringing in Sasuke's ears, too. The younger Uchiha recovered and stormed back to the courtyard, practically livid.

"I _will_ destroy him." Neji sighed and caught up to the heir.

"I don't understand why you hate Itachi so much."

"_You_ don't understand because _you_ don't have to _live_ with him! That damned infuriating grin, that damn look he gives you whenever you're frustrated with something, that damn smirk when he beats you at something, that damn mocking voice of his; everything about him just grates on my nerves!"

"Even the fact that he has a boyfriend?"

"Yes! Even that! Of all the people he could have chosen, and you _know_ he could have had _anyone_ he wanted, he chose _Hoshigaki Kisame_! Kisame! The damned shark freak! I don't know what Itachi _sees_ in him!" Neji rolled his eyes a bit. He knew perfectly well what Itachi saw in Kisame. The rather strange male was completely different from everyone else. The first day he had arrived, moving from California in America to Tokyo, he spotted Itachi and gave a rather toothy grin. Itachi had noticed and winked at him, hoping to lure him in and then smash his heart. Instead, what had happened was Kisame had stood up, walked over to the Uchiha and, in the middle of the cafeteria, surrounded by almost everyone in school, had caught Itachi around the waist and kissed him full on the lips for almost a whole minute. Then he'd pulled back, grinned, thrown away his trash, and headed for the library. Itachi had been completely shock still for a while, then left the cafeteria in a hurry, touching his slightly swollen lips. No one had even kissed him like that, not even when no one was looking. When he had recovered from being in shock, he demanded that Kisame fight him. The larger teen had laughed him off the first five times, finally agreeing to it on the condition that if he won, Itachi would have to kiss him. The fight had lasted almost fifteen minutes, conducted in the gym. Everyone, including Sasuke and Neji, who were in middle school at the time, had come to see. Kisame wore a smirk the whole time they fought, even when Itachi kicked him the head. To everyone's amazement, Kisame won. Instead of collecting his prize, he just grinned and left the gym. Itachi had recovered and run after him and since then, they had been going out. No one knew what had happened after Itachi followed Kisame, only that the next day they were officially a couple.

"I mean _damn it_! Why _Kisame_? I would think Itachi would hate him after what he did!" Coming out of the flashback, Neji shrugged.

"Well, you have to admit. Kisame _is_ the only person who made Itachi chase after _him_ instead of the other way around." Sasuke 'hmphed' as he opened the doors to the courtyard. Ino and Sakura didn't notice them immediately, since they were busy going through a routine with the other cheerleaders in the school. On the sidelines, Inuzuka Kiba, Sabaku Kankurou and his older sister, Temari, laughed at them and made fun of them, or tried to distract them so that they fell or screwed up. One of the girl's, Tenten, spotted Neji and waved ecstatically.

"Hyuuga-sempai!" Sakura and Ino spun around, the former brightening and running over to Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun! What did Godaime-sama want?" Sasuke made a face.

"We have to help with the new transfer students." The girl gasped and covered her mouth, looking sympathetic.

"Oh no! Poor Sasuke-kun!" Neji resisted the urge to roll his eyes again. The four (Ino came over) sat back down on the bench and Sakura clung to Sasuke's arm.

"Well, who are the new transfer students?"

"She never said. She said they would come look for us." Neji nodded and opened his mouth to say something when two hands closed over his eyes and a cheerful voice sang out.

"Guess who, Neji-kun!" The brunette squeaked and frowned.

"Naruto! Knock it off!" The voice laughed.

"Aw, you cheat!" He suddenly froze and his mouth hung open a bit as the hands were removed from his eyes. Neji spun around, lavender eyes going wide. The other three turned as well and Sasuke felt his own eyes going wide. Standing behind Neji, smiling happily, was, in Sasuke's mind, an angel. He had spiky, soft-looking blonde hair and sky blue eyes that sparkled with delight. On each of his cheeks were three scars that looked like whiskers. His perfectly shaped lips were pulled into an amused smile. His body was thin, not scrawny at all. His hips were curved delicately, giving him a feminine look. He wore a sky blue tank top that matched his eyes and a black jean vest over it that matched his black jeans, which were torn at the knees. Around his neck was a black leather collar with a light blue sapphire embedded in the middle of it. Neji looked shocked and the boy laughed again, opening his arms as invitation.

"I don't get a hug?" Snapping back to reality, the brunette quickly stood, hugging the boy tightly.

"Of course!" The blonde smiled and hugged the Hyuuga pulling back after a few seconds.

"Man, you look way different since the last time I saw you. I mean, look at your hair!" He grabbed a loose strand and tugged at it, still grinning.

"It's way longer than it was!" Neji nodded, not at all minding someone was playing with his hair. Usually, he would snap at whoever touched it.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had moved to California!"

"Well, I had, but then gramps got really sick of it, so we moved back here. So here I am!" The brunette laughed, a sound Sasuke almost never heard, and hugged the blonde again.

"I'm so glad you're back!" He suddenly remembered Sasuke and the two girls and turned to them, one arm around the blonde's waist.

"Oh, by the way, this is Uchiha Sasuke and his girlfriend, Haruno Sakura, and her friend, Yamanaka Ino. Guys, this is my best friend, Uzumaki Naruto." Sakura glared at Naruto suspiciously. He either didn't notice or didn't care since he smiled and nodded to them. Sasuke knew he was staring dumbly, but he couldn't help it. He managed to snap out of his daze when Neji spoke again.

"Naruto, you're one of the new transfer students, right?"

"Yup!"

"So…who's the other one?"

"Huh? Oh, right!" Naruto put his fingers to his mouth and let out a loud whistle, motioning to someone behind them. Neji turned a bit, having to let go of the blonde, and then stopped dead. Sasuke and the girls leaned around the two to see who it was and Sasuke's eyes widened a bit in surprise. Coming towards them, actually wearing the school uniform, was a rather…odd looking boy. He had black hair in a bowl cut and completely black eyes. But the weirdest thing about him were his eyebrows. They were huge, taking up about half of his forehead. But Neji didn't seem to mind, nor did he seem freaked out. The boy came up to them, smiling sheepishly and scratching the back of his head.

"Hey Neji." Naruto slipped away from the brunette, moving to stand near Sasuke as he watched. Neji was silent for a bit, then spoke in a quiet voice.

"You never said good-bye." The boy smiled sadly, letting his hand drop to his side.

"I know. And…I'm sorry." It was silent for a few seconds, then the brunette slapped the other teen across the face sharply. He scowled, eyes turning cold.

"_That_ was for leaving and never saying good-bye to me. And this…" His face relaxed, eyes turning warmer, and flung his arms around the boy's neck, hugging him tightly.

"Is for coming back." The black-haired teen looked surprised, then smiled and quickly returned the hug. Naruto made an 'aw' sound and smiled happily.

"You two made up!" Neji turned to the rest of the group and motioned to the boy standing beside him. He still had an arm around the other's shoulders, the other teen leaving one arm around his waist.

"This is Uchiha Sasuke and his girlfriend, Haruno Sakura, and her friend, Ino. This is Rock Lee. He's my best friend as well. Oh, and Naruto?" The blonde looked up, blue eyes blinking in curiosity. Neji fixed him with one of his coldest stares.

"What possessed you refrain from telling me you two were coming back?" Laughing nervously, Naruto quickly hid behind Sasuke.

"W-well…"

"It's not his fault, Neji-san." The brunette looked over at Lee, one eyebrow raised.

"Oh?" Lee nodded and smiled sheepishly.

"I…thought it would be kind of a nice surprise…if you didn't know we were coming and then we suddenly appeared." Neji was quiet for a bit before looking skeptical.

"And you're telling me Naruto _didn't_ have a hand in this?"

"Well…okay, so it's not _entirely_ his fault." The Hyuuga huffed slightly.

"You're lucky I was assigned to help you guys get used to the school anyway." Lee looked surprised at this.

"Really?"

"Well, Sasuke and I were…I guess she wanted us to help just one of you each." Naruto cheered.

"Cool! I'll take princey over here!" He latched onto Sasuke's free arm, bringing the Uchiha out of his thoughts.

"Wait, what?!" Naruto smiled up at him.

"Neji can help bushy brows out and you can show me around!"

"Who said I wanted to help you?!" Naruto pouted, refusing to let go of Sasuke's arm.

"But you have to." Irritably, Sasuke tried to pull his arm away. Naruto had a really strong grip.

"I never agreed to it!"

"Naruto?" The blonde blinked and turned, as did the rest of the group. Standing at the door with Itachi was the elder Uchiha's boyfriend, Hoshigaki Kisame. The blonde brightened and released Sasuke, running over to him.

"Jaws!" The older teen gave a toothy grin and caught the blonde around the waist, swinging him around.

"Barbie! I didn't know you were coming today!"

"Ha! Fooled you too!" Itachi didn't seem at all surprised. Instead, he just grinned. Confusion misted Sasuke's brain for a while, then he figured it out. Kisame and Naruto were obviously friends, which meant that the blonde was in good with Itachi, which meant that Sasuke _had_ to show him around.

"Oh goddamn you, Itachi!" His older brother just grinned at him.

"No swearing in school, otouto-chan."

End of Chapter One

A/N: …Meph. I've got nothing to say. Other than about halfway through the chapter, I had to stop to go see the new Harry Potter movie and it is AWESOME! **blinks and looks around a bit** What? I love the Harry Potter series. And Luna Lovegood. Also you know you've got the best family in the world when after seeing said movie, your parents, older brother, and you have a political discussion about the government of the magical community.


	2. I Don't Like Your Girlfriend

A/N: Okay, this is getting scary. This story only has one chapter and fifteen reviews! I swear I'm getting stalked or something! But seriously, I appreciate that I have so many people reading and reviewing, so it's not that bad.

Also, HUZZAH! I found all my old tunes! And with it, THE JACKPOT OF CRAPPY STORIES! …**cough** Ahem. Yes, well, unfortunately, it's true. I was _the biggest_ n00b to writing a few years prior and I just came across what will now be dubbed as TEH FOLDER OF SHAME. It remains on my dad's comp 'cause I don't have the heart to bring it onto my computer and try and beat the stories into something half decent, like some of my current work. Maybe later.

**NaRuKo77:** Heh. I'll probably up the rating later, if I do manage to find a way to work a sex scene with them in. It's not like I've never written one about them before. ;) Thanks for the review!

**Mada Mada Daze:** Don't worry; I'll keep up with this. Have to juggle it with my other story, but I've got a week and a half before school starts, so I'll probably manage to get a few more chapters out. Thanks for the review!

**Frayedsoul:** Yay! I'm putting up pure crack on Thanks for the review!

**NARU.UKE.4LYF:** Ah! Don't die! I'm updating! Thanks for the review! (And love the name)

**wolfypup72:** Thanks, and thanks for the review!

**CheshireMakas:** Heh. I figured it would be funny to be at least a little less traditional. And I do try to keep characters in their original personality. But since this _is_ on AU, they'll probably drift off a bit at a few points, but I'll try to keep it minimal. Thanks for the review!

**Dark Toy:** Heh. Because you know, he'd never agree to it willingly. And Itachi seems to know everything anyway, so it fits. Thanks for the review!

**InvaderCorren:** Thanks, and thanks for the review!

**Hyouga sama:** Thank you, and thanks for the review!

**Lady Blade WarAngel:** Heh. I'm glad it made you laugh. And thanks for the review!

**Riana:** Thanks, and thanks for the review!

**PirateCaptainBo:** Heh. I thought the nicknames were rather appropriate. And of course it is. Especially when sung by gay deer. **nods mostly to herself** Thanks for the review!

**darkneko666:** I'm glad you read it too. Thanks for the review!

**Niver:** Thanks, and thanks for the review! Also, you know you're hanging out with really cool friends when you can have long discussions on Harry Potter and how badly their government sucks.

**o.OminiO.o:****cackles maniacally** Yes! But I refuse to give spoilers. Eh, you've all read the book, but the movie's pretty cool. Thanks for the review!

Oh, I forgot to put this here (I put it on my other story), but if anyone can figure out what I mean when I say gay deer and Gerard Way has a blue-eyed boyfriend that's so fine, kudos to them and I'll write them a scene involving anything they want. (You don't have to figure out both, but if you do figure out both, I'll write you two scenes)

YOU ARE ALL READING THE WORK OF A HEROIC TICK-KILLER! I found a tick crawling up my arm earlier today and promptly swatted it off, scooped it into a bottle, and proceeded to poison the poor thing to death with water, hand sanitizer, hand soap, red juice, lotion, dish soap, soy sauce, and bleach. My mom stared at me like I was insane, then laughed at me.

**Chapter Two: I Don't Like Your Girlfriend**

Sasuke couldn't help but stare. They had a new history teacher, something that wasn't unexpected. They'd had a substitute for a while after Shikamaru made the last one quit by sleeping through an entire test, only to wake up the last minute and write down all the right answers. However, this new history teacher was very odd. He was rather handsome, having golden blonde hair and eyes the same color as Naruto's. And, like said blonde, he wasn't wearing the normal attire that was expected of teachers. He was wearing a light green t-shirt, a long-sleeved black shirt under that, and over it a rather long white overcoat with red flames at the hem. He also had a headband that said, written in Japanese, 'Boss-sama' on it. His feet were propped up on the desk, chair tipped back against the wall as he read a book that looked suspiciously like a porn book. Most of the kids gave him strange looks as they filed in, milling about and chatting. The teacher didn't look up at any of them as they talked to friends and located desks. Deciding he didn't care and was laid back, they kept talking even after the bell rang. Suddenly, he slammed his book shut and leapt onto the desk, barking out an order.

"Stop your yakking and sit down, you brats!" Everyone jumped and scrambled to do as he said, sitting down quickly and glancing at each other, wide-eyed. Nodding in satisfaction, the blonde pointed to the board, still on his desk. Written on the board in big letters was 'Legend of the Tailed Demons'.

"Who here beside Hyuuga-kun, Uzumaki-kun and Rock-kun can tell me what the tailed demons are?" The class exchanged more looks, no one saying anything. The man sighed and shook his head.

"Ah well. All right kiddos, I'm your new teacher, Uzumaki Arashi, and since the Godaime-sama was nice enough to not give me a curriculum yet, we'll be learning about legends. Um…you." He pointed to a girl in their class, near the middle.

"Open your book to three hundred and sixty-four and read me the first paragraph." The girl blinked and glanced around nervously before doing as she was told.

"Um…the legend of the tailed demons was a well-known fairy-tale made up long ago as a bedtime story for young children in Asia. It-"

"Okay, nevermind. Guess you don't need your textbooks. You can sit down." The girl sat back down, quickly putting away her book. Arashi turned to the board and wrote down 1-9 before turning back to them.

"There are nine original tailed demons, which are the ones we'll be talking about. The first we're going to talk about is the nine-tailed fox demon, the Kyuubi no Yoko. He's believed to be the original, or first demon, not just of the tailed demons, but also of the ones that came to Ningenkai, or the human realm. He was widely worshipped in all parts of the world as a near god. He brought people good luck and often bestowed to them unbelievable power. He became lonely after a few hundred years and went to all parts of the world, bestowing huge power to select animals. This created the other tailed demons." Sasuke glanced around the room and cocked an eyebrow. People actually seemed interested in this, some leaning forward as if to hear him better. Of course, most of the girls were leaning forward to look at him better, eyes far away and dreamy. Arashi continued, writing 'Kyuubi no Yoko' beside the nine on the board.

"The first creature he bestowed power to was the eight tailed demon, the Hachibi no Hachimata, who was a snake." He wrote 'Hachibi no Hachimata' beside the eight.

"Next was the seven tailed demon, the Shichibi no Kaku, who was a badger. Then the Rokubi no Raijuu, the six tailed weasel. Then the Gobi no Houkuu, who was a dog. Yonbi no Sokou, the turtle, Sanbi no Isonade, the fish, Nibi no Nekomata, the cat, and Ichibi no Shukaku, the raccoon." He wrote down each of their names next to a number going in order down to one. By now, everyone was listening. Arashi took a moment to pause, looking over what he had written, before nodding to himself and turning back around.

"Now then. The tailed demons were extremely feared by everyone, and fear began to replace the respect people once had for them. They began to attack them, trying to destroy them. However, due to the tailed demons god-like abilities, the humans didn't stand a chance. The only ones that could do anything to harm them were the very humans that the Kyuubi had bestowed power to, now much larger in number due to reproduction. These select humans had been given special abilities that were unique to them. These were called kekai genkai, or bloodline limits. They gave people the ability to predict and copy their enemies moves, control people, see through almost anything, and breath underwater, just to name a few. These people activated their bloodline limits using something called chakra, which is sort of like spiritual energy. Everyone has chakra, but these people, called shinobi, had significantly greater amounts of it. Now, these shinobi were the only defense against the tailed demons, and even they weren't much of a defense. Then the shinobi discovered the art of sealing. This allowed the demons to be sealed inside a shinobi where they could be contained and controlled until the shinobi that they were sealed in died or was killed. This worked, in the sense that the demons stopped attacking towns and people." Sasuke narrowed his eyes and spoke up.

"What do you mean 'in the sense'?" Arashi came to the front of his desk, leaning against it.

"I mean that those with demons sealed inside of them began fighting each other in a huge struggle for power. Each wanted to prove that they were the strongest and the demons, fueled by their containers lust for power, fought as hard as they could. This would often kill the person they were sealed in, destroying them from the inside out with just their sheer amount of chakra. They were, of course, sealed into someone else later, which started the whole thing over again. Finally, the last container of the Kyuubi had had enough. He tracked down all of those with demons sealed inside of them, judging to see if the container was worthy. If he decided they weren't, he would kill them and release the demon, finding a proper container instead. Once he had all of his fellow demons sealed inside those who wouldn't abuse such powers, he took them all and disappeared into the far corners of the earth. They disguised themselves, changed their names, melted into the crowds. The demons were tired of fighting as well, instead deciding to settle down with their containers. They granted those they were in with unnaturally long life, eventually taking them to the demon realm, or Makai, with them. Neither the demons nor the containers were ever seen again." There was silence for a bit, then the bell rang and Arashi grinned.

"Class is over. See you later!" The students groaned and stood, shuffling out. They all chatted excitedly about the story. It was fun to listen to and if they didn't have to do anything, all the better. Sasuke was about to leave when he noticed Naruto run over to the older blonde and fling his arms around his neck.

"You get so boring, nii-chan!" Arashi stuck his tongue out, hugging the boy affectionately.

"Oh yeah? I seem to recall a little blonde brat always begging me to tell the story again and again." Naruto stuck his own tongue out and they both laughed a bit before Arashi released him and nudged him towards the door.

"Okay, get going. You've got classes to get to. Isn't Hyuuga-kun showing you around?" The blonde shook his head.

"Nuh-uh. He's showing bushy-brows around. Uchiha over there is showing me around." Sasuke paused in the action of shouldering his bag as Arashi's gaze fell on him. The older blonde's eyebrow rose and his eyes twinkled in a 'I know all' manner.

"Really now?" Scowling, Sasuke shouldered his bag and headed to the door. Naruto waved quickly and ran to catch up to him, slowing to walk beside him. Sasuke gave him a bit of a glare.

"Don't follow me." Naruto grinned in a way that made him look like a rather smug fox.

"Aw, but aren't you supposed to be showing me around?"

"No." Pouting, the blonde crossed his arms over his chest and just stared at Sasuke. The Uchiha tried his hardest to ignore him, but it nearly drove him insane knowing those gorgeous blue eyes were boring a hole in the side of his head. He finally turned to face the blonde, eye twitching.

"_What?_!" Naruto's face didn't falter in the slightest.

"You're supposed to show me around the school."

"Yeah, well I'm not going to and that's final!" Turning back around, he stormed down the hall. Naruto sighed dramatically.

"Oh well. I guess I'll just _have_ to tell Kisame-san that you're being _so_ mean to me and leaving me all alone in such a big school. He probably won't be very happy about it. He might even tell Uchiha-sempai…" Sasuke stopped dead as thoughts of an angry Itachi filled his mind. An angry Itachi was _not_ a good thing for a happy home. And even though their home wasn't exactly 'happy', having Itachi being angry would make such a concept damn near impossible. More thoughts followed the angry Itachi thoughts. These ones were of Naruto getting split up from Neji and Lee, lost in the big school without any means of protection or defense. He was certainly cuter than a good number of the girls in school, and most of the boys in school were going through puberty, meaning their hormones were out of wack and a might uncontrollable. Also, a little over half the boys going through puberty weren't exactly concerned if their partners were willing or not. Now an upset Neji was added into the mix of consequences, and Neji was like Sasuke's anchor in life. If he lost him… The Uchiha heir sighed and turned a bit, giving Naruto a bit of a glare.

"Well? Are you coming?" The blonde brightened immediately and practically skipped over to his side, giving him a dazzling smile. Sasuke tried not to blush. He was, of course, one of the boys going through puberty.

"Why aren't you wearing the school uniform? Didn't you get one?"

"Hm? Oh, of course! But my grandpa sent a letter to the board of education saying that I was a very 'imaginative individual' and attempting to…what was it…oh! And attempting to 'force me into conformity would do great amounts of permanent damage to my mental stability'. So I don't have to wear the uniforms!" Sasuke stared at Naruto, unsure if that was really the truth or not. He was also unsure if he wanted to _ask_ if that was the truth or not. He tried to imagine the blonde in a school uniform and quickly decided it didn't do him nearly enough justice. So he figured there was no harm in letting sleeping dogs lie on the subject of Naruto's wardrobe.

"So Uzumaki-sensei is your older brother?"

"Yup. A lot of people say he looks like my dad, but we both look a lot more like our mom did." Sasuke cocked an eyebrow.

"'Did'? She looks different now?"

"Uh-huh."

"What does she look like now?" The blonde made a face.

"Dunno. Rotting, I guess." Wincing, Sasuke immediately regretted asking.

"I'm sorry." Naruto shrugged, not seeming bothered by it.

"It's okay. I don't remember her, I just see her in pictures."

"How did she die? If you don't mind me asking."

"I don't. She got shot." Looking over at Sasuke, Naruto put a finger up to the point right between his eyes.

"Right here. Point blank. Same with my dad, 'cept he got shot here." He moved his hand to the back of his head, right at the base of his skull. Sasuke winced again.

"I'm sorry." Naruto shrugged and laced his fingers together behind his back.

"Don't be. It's not like it was your fault or anything. Unless it was, and in that case I would have to strangle you to death. But since you'd have to have been, like, two years old, I really doubt it was."

"Uh…huh." Naruto nodded and then seemed to remember something.

"Oh, by the way, what was with that weird girl clinging to your arm? The one with the big forehead and pink hair." Sasuke winced again, eyes narrowing into a scowl.

"My girlfriend, Haruno Sakura."

"You don't look too happy about it." The Uchiha snorted a bit, pausing at his locker door to pull off a love note.

"I'm not." Naruto watched as he threw out the card before picking it out of the trash and flipping it open, scanning the contents.

"Why?" Giving the blonde a strange look, Sasuke tossed the rest of the love notes.

"Because she's annoying." Throwing out the one he had read, Naruto began following Sasuke again.

"Then why don't you break up with her?"

"People expect us to go out."

"Why?" The Uchiha glared at the other teen and snorted.

"The best looking students are expected to go out."

"And what if people decided I was better looking than her? Would you go out with me instead?" Sasuke's head turned so fast to stare at Naruto that one could almost hear the whiplash. He winced and grabbed his neck before looking up at the blonde. Naruto had a genuinely curious look on his face. There was silence between them for a while until Sasuke realized they were about to be late and swore, grabbing Naruto's wrist and dragging him down the halls to their next class. He didn't answer Naruto's question, mostly since he was still wondering what the answer was himself. The next class was gym, which was taught by two rather…odd teachers, Hatake Kakashi and Momochi Zabuza. They both wore masks that covered their nose and mouths, making pretty much everyone in the school, Godaime included, was at least somewhat curious as to what was under the mask. Sasuke grumbled as he dressed into his gym clothes, sneaking looks at Naruto as the blonde did the same. Instead of wearing the normal gym clothes (white T-shirt, blue shorts), he wore loose, tan pants that clung to his hips and went down to his shins and a matching tank top.

"You just don't wear any part of the school uniform, do you." The blonde beamed brightly, a look that made Sasuke feel like he was melting.

"Nope!" Rolling his eyes, the Uchiha headed into the gym where most everyone was standing around already. Naruto stuck with him for a bit, until he spotted Neji and Lee. The Hyuuga was standing suspiciously close to the newest student, who didn't seem to mind at all. Sasuke's eyes narrowed slightly.

_Hm…that's odd…_

"Oi, blondie." Sasuke tore his eyes away, looking over at Zabuza, whom was looking at Naruto. The blonde cocked his head.

"Yes?"

"That's _not_ the school uniform."

"I know." It was quiet for a bit as Zabuza continued to glare at Naruto, whom didn't seem fazed at all. Finally, the rougher teacher spoke.

"Go change." Naruto was quiet for a minute or two before smiling brightly.

"No." The gym got deadly quiet as Zabuza's eye twitched slightly at being defied so outright.

"Excuse me?"

"I said no. I'm not going to change into the uniform because I don't have to. If you don't believe me, you can call Godaime-sama and ask her." Zabuza glared at the teen, but made no move to call the office. Nearby, reading a book that looked a lot like the one Arashi had been reading, Kakashi sighed and went over to the phone in the wall. He dialed a number and talked into it for a few seconds before hanging up and speaking to his partner.

"The kid's right, Zabuza. Godaime-sama even said so herself. He's not required to wear the uniform." Zabuza growled low in his throat before moving away from the blonde to go check the rest of the students. He _hated_ to lose.

"All right, partner up! We're going through the warm-up routine!" Sasuke turned to go to Neji, whom was his partner in almost everything. He was surprised to see the Hyuuga standing in front of him already.

"Sasuke, I was wondering if I could partner up with Lee, at least for today. He doesn't know the warm-up routine, and neither does Naruto-kun. Is that…?" The Uchiha quickly shook off the surprise and tinge of disappointment, shrugging.

"It's fine." Neji smiled at him quickly before hurrying to where Lee was standing somewhat awkwardly. Sasuke turned back around to Naruto, whom seemed to expect this.

"…Hold my feet down." The blonde nodded and got down on his knees while Sasuke lay on his back, knees up and arms behind his head. They were quiet for a bit as Sasuke did crunches, then Naruto spoke up in a quiet voice so only Sasuke could hear.

"You've got a crush on Neji, don't you." The Uchiha paused for a few seconds, then started up again.

"…Kind of. He's been my friend for five years now. We do practically everything together." Naruto grinned.

"So you have sex with Sakura together?" Sasuke glared at him, growling slightly.

"I've never-"

"I know, I'm kidding. It was just a funny concept." The Uchiha rolled his eyes and mentally counted how many more crunches he had to do.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you. How do you know Neji? I mean, you were best friends, but he's never mentioned you. Either of you." Naruto's smile turned a bit sad.

"We were friends since we were really little. Neji, Lee and I went to the same school and somehow we managed to become friends. We were there for each other when stuff went wrong, like Neji's dad dying of cancer, Lee's mom getting hit by a truck, stuff like that. We were kind of like the Three Musketeers or something. Maybe the three stooges. But…Lee's dad…he got a job in America. Lee was really upset, since it was so far away. He couldn't work up the courage to say good-bye to Neji and then walk off, knowing he'd never see Neji again. So he just left us. It hit Neji hard, since out of both of us, I knew he liked Lee better than me. It didn't bug me, and it still doesn't. I had just hoped I'd be enough for Neji. But then…my grandma, who lived in California, she got really, really sick. Arashi and I had to move over there to help take care of her and gramps. It was only a few months after Lee left, so I felt horrible about doing it. That was about five and a half years ago." They were both silent and Sasuke opened his mouth to apologize after a bit, but Naruto beamed and cut him off.

"But then I guess he met you and got better! And now we're back anyway!" A bit disoriented at the sudden mood swing, Sasuke gave a small grin.

"Yeah." They went through the rest of the warm-up routine and then stood in line with the rest of the students. Kakashi and Zabuza paced back and forth in front of them, debating what to do with them. Suddenly, Kakashi perked up.

"I know! Student vs. Teacher exercise!" As soon as he said that, most of the class scrambled to line up in front of Kakashi. Both teachers were strong, but Kakashi was more merciful. Sasuke felt his eyes widen as Naruto and Lee moved to stand in front of Zabuza. The older male crossed his arms over his chest and growled at them both.

"You're a bunch of newbies, so I'll give you the chance to go line up with Kakashi-sensei." Naruto smiled brightly.

"No thanks! I wanna fight you!" Lee smiled himself and nodded. Zabuza and Kakashi exchanged looks and the latter's visible eye crinkled into an upside down 'U'.

"Maa, looks like you actually have to do work, Zabuza-sensei." The black-haired teacher snorted and led them up to a mat. Kakashi shooed everyone onto the stands, since he wanted to watch this too.

"All right, rookies, since there are only two of you, I'll let you come at me at the same time." Naruto and Lee exchanged looks, a bit surprised. Naruto shrugged and grinned.

"Okay. Works for me." He adopted a fighting stance, Lee doing the same. Zabuza smirked and got into his own stance. The rest of the class groaned, knowing this stance full well. Zabuza knew several different styles of martial arts. The one he intended to use was designed to do the most damage in the least amount of time.

"Don't come crying to me if you get hurt." The blonde grinned, eyes flashing with excitement.

"I'd give you the same warning, but I don't think a big strong man like you will just break down and cry. Of course, there's only one way to find out." Kakashi moved next to the mat, holding one arm up.

"And…fight!" Instantly, Naruto lunged forward, keeping low to the ground, eyes scanning for a weak spot. Lee leapt up, aiming a kick at Zabuza's head. Dodging one of Naruto's attacks, Zabuza grabbed the other boy's leg and barely had time to react before Lee aimed the other one as well. He caught this leg as well, body jerking a bit at the impact. Naruto used the distraction to come up behind him, knife-handing him in the neck. Zabuza released Lee's legs, driving his elbow into Naruto's stomach. Sasuke felt himself tense up as he watched Naruto gasp a bit before landing, hand clutching his stomach. A cool hand was placed over his and he jerked, turning to see Neji. The brunette was watching the fight intensely.

"Don't worry. They'll be all right." Nodding slightly, Sasuke turned his attention back to the fight. Naruto and Lee were dodging around Zabuza, avoiding any attacks and searching for weak spots. They were doing tons better than anyone else in the class ever had, but still weren't stronger than Zabuza, even together. Suddenly, Naruto leapt up, aiming to hit Zabuza in the face. The teacher's eyes narrowed and he moved to dodge when suddenly Naruto beamed and caught him around the neck in a hug.

"Aw, I love my sensei!"

"The fuck?!" Not at all used to this kind of attack, Zabuza stumbled and almost fell over. Lee came up behind him and delivered a swift kick into his spine, sending him forward a few steps. He managed to recover somehow and kicked back, hitting Lee in the stomach, before grabbing Naruto by the back of his shirt and flinging him off. The blonde caught himself on his hands and crouched, using the cloth over his knees as protection against the floor. Lee moved out of Zabuza's range, eyes wary. Zabuza, however, glared at Naruto.

"The hell kind of attack was that?!" The blonde smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

"Um…ancient art of Bijin no Gyakujou?" It was quiet for a bit as Zabuza attempted to stare Naruto down.

"…You're mental." Naruto beamed happily.

"So I've been told!" Zabuza shook his head and fell into a fighting stance again.

"Whatever. Let's go." The fight continued, Naruto and Lee still looking for weak spots on Zabuza, even coming across a few. However, as soon as they hit it, Zabuza would make sure to defend it more. At one point, they tried to attack from behind and in front. Naruto aimed for his chest while Lee aimed to kick him in the back of his head. The teacher ducked and Lee ended up kicking Naruto full across the face. There was a loud, sickening crack sound and Naruto dropped to the ground, not moving at all. Kakashi's eye widened and he held up one hand.

"Stop! Stop!" Zabuza and Lee pulled back quickly, the other students standing to get a better look as Kakashi quickly knelt next to the blonde. A small but steady stream of blood ran from the point right between Naruto's eyes, down his face, and dripped onto the floor. Neji stood and hurried down to the mat, Sasuke following right after him. Lee bit his lower lip, eyes worried as Kakashi pressed the heel of his palm to the wound, his other hand checking his pulse.

"He's okay." Neji knelt next to Naruto, worry shining in his eyes. He looked up at Lee quickly.

"Lee, what did you do?" Naruto groaned and his eyes flittered open.

"Nothing, 'm fine…"

"You're bleeding!"

"'S not that bad…" Before Neji could protest, Kakashi spoke to Naruto quietly.

"Can you feel your toes?" Naruto was quiet, eyes looking as though they were trying to see through the haze of a headache.

"Uh…yeah."

"Legs."

"Yeah."

"Fingers." The blonde raised his arm and wiggled his fingers at Kakashi.

"Uh-huh." The silver-haired teacher sighed in relief.

"Okay, so you don't have a concussion." Sasuke rolled his eyes and grumbled.

"I think his skull's too thick for that." Neji ran a hand through his hair.

"You have no idea."

"Hey…" The blonde winced and sat up, shaking his head.

"I'm all right. I can still fight." Zabuza rolled his eyes and picked Naruto up, slinging him over his shoulder. The blonde squeaked and clung to him, eyes going wide.

"What are you doing!?"

"Taking you to the nurse."

"Put me down, I can walk!"

"Uh huh. I'm sure you can. Eyebrows kid, you too." Lee blinked in surprise and waved nervously to Neji before trotting after Zabuza. Naruto tried to scrunch himself up as far as he could on Zabuza's shoulder, fearfully eyeing the ground.

"If you drop me, I really _will_ get a concussion!"

"Maybe then you'll shut up. Hey, there's an idea..." They could hear Naruto shrieking loudly from the hallway.

"No, don't let me go!" Kakashi sighed, rubbing his temples.

"If we get sued because of you, Zabuza…" Shaking his head, he turned back to the class.

"Okay, lets see how many people we can get through before the end of class." They managed to get through ten fights, mainly because the first nine lasted two to three minutes each. The last fight was between Neji and Kakashi. Neji had this uncanny ability to find the weak spots on his opponent, almost as if they were drawn all of their body with a neon colored marker. He also used a style of martial arts that employed using the palm of the hand instead of a fist. Strange as it was, it worked more often than not. Before he could hit a weak spot on Kakashi, the bell rang. Everyone who hadn't gone looked relieved, except for Sasuke, who _wanted_ to fight. Neji looked a little irritated as well, but also worried. Sasuke watched him while they changed out, knowing full well why his friend was concerned.

"…Hey." The brunette looked up at him, surprise edging his eyes.

"Yes?"

"…I'm sure he's fine." Neji stared at him for a second or two, then smiled.

"Yeah. Thanks." They finished dressing in silence and headed to their final class of the day, which happened to be science. This class was taught by the slightly creepy teacher, Jadoku Orochimaru. He was feeding one of his various snakes as they came in, whispering to it softly. Sasuke watched as the deadly serpent rose up a bit, obediently putting its head onto his palm. The long-haired teacher was known as the Snake Charmer, even by other teachers. He would constantly stick his hand into the tanks of vicious, aggressive snakes and pet them or open their mouths to check their fangs. He had never been bitten, not once. Almost all the students found him eerily creepy, a select few idolizing him. Sasuke, while not among the select few, didn't find him creepy enough not to learn from. Sitting in his desk close to the front, he watched Neji sit down next him, if a bit hesitantly. Suddenly, Naruto and Lee came in, the former holding an ice pack over the spot between his eyes and wincing.

"I thought you gave up on it." Lee frowned, looking a little insulted.

"I could never give up on Gai-sensei's teachings! He-"

"If your next words are going to contain anything to do with 'youth' or 'springtime' or any combination of the two, I'm going to bite you."

"…Is a really good teacher." Naruto glared slightly and flopped into the desk next to Sasuke, Lee taking the seat next to Neji. The brunette looked relieved to see them both.

"Naruto, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm going to have a really nice bruise right between my eyes for a day or two, but other than that, I'm okay." Neji nodded a bit, then turned his attention to the front as Orochimaru moved up to his desk, a smaller snake draped over his shoulders. The creature was a beautiful, forest green color, its scales shimmering in the fluorescent light a bit. One golden eye looked out over them suspiciously, almost as if it expected them to try and attack its master. Orochimaru erased something on the board before turning to his students and motioning to their textbooks.

"Page four-hundred and eighty-seven." The students did this quietly, except one girl in the back who raised her hand.

"Jadoku-sensei?" The long-haired male looked over the heads of the students to her.

"Yes?"

"Do you know anything about the Hachibi no Hachimata?" Orochimaru looked vaguely surprised and his lips twisted into a bit of a sadistic grin.

"Now where did you hear that name, I wonder." The girl swallowed nervously, hand lowering nervously.

"Um…t-the new history teacher…Uzumaki-sensei…said that it was one of the legendary tailed demons…" Orochimaru was quiet for a bit, looking around at the eager faces. Everyone wanted to hear more about the story, especially if it meant that their sensei wouldn't assign any more work. Finally, he sighed and motioned for them to close their books.

"Fine. Yes, I do know about the Hachibi no Hachimata, as well as the other tailed demons. For quite some time, they were considered more godly, more influential than the animals of the zodiac. The Hachibi was viewed as a bringer of good luck, often associated with a rainbow due to the fact that the race he hailed from was known to come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. He was the Kyuubi no Yoko's closest friend and advisor, as well as the most distrusting of humans. He had observed them for a very long time and knew that they were sneaky and traitorous, even horrendously violent to their own race. He cautioned the others not to trust humans too much, warning them that any creature that was so aggressive to it's own species could only be worse to outsiders. The other tailed demons listened to him, but since they were so much more powerful than humans, there was little reason to worry. They continued to gain power as the years went by and after so many years of peace and harmony, a group of power-hungry wealth-mongers began to envy the demons and their power and the respect people gave them. They made to overthrow them, convincing others that Hachibi, because he was a snake, was untrustworthy and that since he was the closest friend to the Kyuubi, he had been chosen to help eventually destroy all humans. Villages grew suspicious, cautious, and downright distrustful of the creatures, beginning to see them as demons instead of gods. They began attacking them, which made the tailed demons confused and angry that the humans would dare take their gifts for granted.

"They lost themselves to rage, attacking humans and destroying villages. By the time the villagers realized what they had done, they could not take back their words and actions. In fact, to see them begging for their lives after having attacked them for no reason only angered the demons more. They suspected that f they forgave them, the humans would only attack them again, then beg for their lives when they began to lose. If they had been winning, they would have fought until the demons were dead and then rejoiced. It was only because they were no match that they regretted what they had done. The demons refused to forgive the humans, continuing to attack them as they saw fit. Angered that the demons had refused their apologies, people began spreading lies and slanders about the demons, saying they were nothing more than insane animals that hated all humans for no reason. Many who clung to the demonic faith tried desperately to pass on their teachings to their children, but they were murdered for treason and conspiracy, their children killed if they were too old or given to another family if they were young enough to forget. The only way we know what truly happened is those with the demonic faith wrote books and scrolls about the story, burying them deep in the ground where they prayed that someday, someone would find them and learn the truth." The class was dead silent, everyone gawking. Suddenly, a boy in the back leapt up.

"You mean it's true?! Those demons really existed?!" Orochimaru cocked an eyebrow, lips quirking into a grin.

"Oh yes. It's very true. Archeologists and scientists have found signs that a rather advanced civilization, very close to our own, once existed very long ago. Then it was like almost everyone vanished, leaving behind little to none of the technology they had used. Studies show there were five main cities spread across the world, some in places that they wouldn't have been able to flourish without technology. There was one in the middle of the desert that had fossilized herbs only found in tropical areas, hinting towards a green house. If you don't believe me, there's a museum showing the exhibit next week. If you manage to go and look around, you can write up a three-page paper on your findings and get extra credit." The bell rang and Orochimaru sighed slightly.

"Out of time. Oh well." The class stood up, talking excitedly to each other. It was a near impossible task to get a grade higher than a B in Orochimaru's class, and he almost never gave out extra credit. Even Sasuke barely had an A, and that was just because Orochimaru liked the Uchihas. Once out in the hall, Naruto spoke up excitedly.

"Even if he wasn't giving extra credit, I'm still going to that exhibit!" Neji and Lee nodded their agreement, Sasuke doing so as well. As much as he hated to admit it, this new subject was pretty interesting.

"Sasuke-kun!" The Uchiha heir did a full body twitch as the head cheerleader latched onto his arm. Sakura smiled up at him, not even noticing she had pushed Naruto into the wall. Neji and Lee went back to make sure he was okay, leaving Sasuke to be dragged forward.

"Sasuke-kun, I was hoping you could walk me home today!"

"…But we live in opposite directions."

"I know that, but…my parents won't be getting home until late tonight…" Sasuke tried to make his face soften from it's hardened mask at the seductive look in Sakura's eyes. He was a teenaged boy. Not only that, but he was the prince of the school. And she was his girlfriend. Of course he was expected to go to her house while they had no parental supervision. Of course he was expected to stay a lot longer than was needed. And of course he was expected to sneak out the back while she covered for him when her parents got home unexpectedly. However, before he could grudgingly agree, Neji had moved in front of her and was glaring at her harder than Sasuke thought possible. His voice was an icy hiss.

"Next time you're in a rush, at least have the decency to _apologize_ to the people you shove into the wall." Sakura looked as surprised as Sasuke felt and backed up a few steps, trembling slightly.

"U-um…s-sorry…" Turning, she ran off down the hall in fear. Sasuke backed away from Neji, as he looked just about ready to kill. Naruto came up next to him, rubbing his bruised arm.

"…I don't think Neji likes your girlfriend."

"Y-yeah…"

"…I don't like your girlfriend either."

End of Chapter Two

A/N: **twiddles her thumbs while looking around** Hum…well, not much to say. Til chapter three then!


	3. I Think You Need A New One

A/N: Uh…this is draft number two. I tried an idea earlier and it didn't go the way I wanted. So now I'm rewriting the chapter, copying and pasting most of the first part instead of just deleting the part I didn't like because…well…I want to keep that part for some reason. Might do a spin-off for my own amusement and go insane with it, adding past lives and spirits and demons and ninja and chakra and so on and so forth. May even be convinced to post it after I finish off this plot as some sort of alternate timeline thing. Anywho, I go back to school Wednesday, so I'm going to have less and less writing time (Holy shit, what happened to my summer?????)

Also, just because I'm curious, I have a question for all who read and review the chapters of this: What time did you read this chapter and what were you doing before you noticed the new chapter was up? (You don't have to answer truthfully or at all to the second part, but I'd be appreciative if you answered the first part)

**darkneko666:** Heh. I didn't pin Neji as someone who would suffer fools easily (yet he's teamed up with Lee and Gai, so he'd kind of have too…). Thanks, and thanks for the review!

**PirateCaptainBo:** While I'd love to write a fanfic where it's modern day Konoha shinobi encountering their past lives and watching the chaos of it all, I'm afraid that in this story, it's just modern day kids. However, they do have some abilities that are similar to the ones they used to have. Example: Neji's ability to see weak spots and his martial arts style, Naruto's ability to heal quickly, Lee's fighting and training style, Orochimaru's affinity for snakes, etc. Also, because _this_ Naruto isn't the jinchuuriki, it could mean that the _past_ Naruto ever actually died. (Arashi's story explains how that's possible, I think.) Anyway, thanks for the review!

**Frayedsoul:** Heh. Well, I couldn't bring myself to make Orochimaru overly creepy and my friend would strangle me to death if I had him stalk Sasuke. Also, I didn't plan on getting anywhere with Neji and Sasuke romantically, but I figured it would seem more realistic if Sasuke had a harder time giving up Neji to Lee than just 'that's weird oh well'. And since Sasuke is attracted to guys and Neji has been his only friend for a while, I thought it would only be natural if he had kind of a crush on Neji. Thanks for the review!

**Boredom is my middle name:** Hm…how do I love thee, let me count the ways. One, Zabuza and Haku are one of my highest-ranking favorite pairings in the whole Naruto series. Two, I love KakaIru to death (**coughs innocently and tries to hide the explicit KakaIru doujinshi behind her back**). So yes, we're going to get quite a few hints for both pairings if not full out walk-in-on-make-out-session scenes. Because, as we all know, EVERY GUY IN NARUTO IS GAY. **shifty eyes** I swear to you they are. We get all these sexual tension hints throughout the whole damn series. They're between Shikamaru and Chouji, Shino and Kiba, Kakashi and Iruka, Naruto and Sasuke, Zabuza and Haku (who is a BOY, for the last GODDAMN TIME), Kabuto and Orochimaru, Neji and Lee (if you squint and turn your head sideways), Kisame and Itachi, etc. etc. Thanks for the review!

**sasunaru fan:** Thanks, and thanks for the review!

**Lady Blade WarAngel:** Thanks, and thanks for the review!

**InvaderCorren:** ? I'm going to assume your question means who gets with Naruto. Since it's rated SasuNaru, you all can rest easy knowing that Sasuke gets him in the end. Thanks, and thanks for the review!

**heavenstar72**: Thanks, and thanks for the review! Also, watch the crash on the sugar rush.

**firefang13:** Thanks, and thanks for the review!

**Chapter Three: I Think You Need A New One**

"Do you intend to follow me home?" Naruto looked up at Sasuke, cocking his head a bit.

"Huh?" Rolling his eyes, the Uchiha repeated the question. He had left school, heading for home since it wasn't that far, and Naruto had followed him a few yards behind. Curiosity eating his logic, he had stopped and turned around, waiting for the blonde to catch up, and asked the question stated above.

"Oh, your house is down this way? So's mine! I was headed there. Unless…you _want_ me to follow you home?" Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned back around, beginning to walk towards his house again. Naruto quickly jogged to catch up to him.

"Hey, you never answered my question from before!"

"What question?" The blonde fumed and crossed his arms over his chest, turning his head away with a huff.

"If you've forgotten it already, then it must not be so important to you." Sasuke blinked in surprise, thrown off by the sudden mood swing. He recovered in time to see the blonde stalking off ahead of him and quickly hurried to catch up. He hated to admit it, but he felt a bit guilty about forgetting the question, since it seemed pretty important.

"Naruto, wait! I'm sorry! I've just…had a bit on my mind today. I mean…" Naruto suddenly turned around, beaming.

"It's okay! I forgive you!" The mood swing threw Sasuke off again, but he managed to recover faster. Uchihas were always good at adapting to things anyway. They began walking side by side again and Naruto brought up the question again.

"You said that you only dated Sakura because she was the prettiest girl in school and you were the best-looking guy, so you two were expected to go out."

"Right."

"My question was what if people decided I was better looking than Sakura? Would you go out with me?" Sasuke blinked in surprise at the question for the second time that day. It was actually a good question, with a certain amount of logic behind it. Ideas of him and Naruto going out entered his mind and he scowled to try and get rid of the blush.

"Of course not!"

"Why not?"

"Because we're both guys!" Normally, this would be enough for anyone. However, Naruto wasn't just anyone.

"So?"

"So two guys can't go out."

"Sure they can. Itachi and Jaws go out. Have been for years from what I've heard." Sasuke opened his mouth to retort, then discovered he had none. So he quickly shut his mouth and stormed ahead. Naruto jogged to keep up with him.

"What were you going to say?"

"Nothing. The point is, we wouldn't go out if people thought you were better looking than Sakura."

"Why do you have to meet everyone's expectations anyway?"

"Because I'm an Uchiha."

"So people expected to Itachi go out with Jaws?" Sasuke stopped dead, mind suddenly going through a serious reboot. Naruto waited (somewhat) patiently for him to restart and for his question to be answered. Finally, Sasuke stuttered slightly before starting up a slower walk.

"W-well, no…"

"So why do you have to meet the expectations of your peers when your older brother obviously didn't?"

"…You're really smart, aren't you." Naruto grinned and shrugged.

"Nah, not really. I think I read this in a book somewhere. That's my house. Catch ya later!" Waving, the blonde ran down the driveway of a rather large, yet quaint looking house. Sitting on the porch of the house, writing what looked to be a script was an elderly man with long, white hair and strange red markings on his face. Naruto called to him as he ran up.

"Ero-sennin! Stop writing boring porn on my porch!"

"Boring?! I'll have you know this is the most fascinating, most worldwide read series in existence! You're just not mature enough to truly enjoy it."

"It's boring porn! And you corrupted my nii-san with it! And my stupid gym teacher!" The old man's eyes glinted with a mischievous look.

"Ah, so they're starting to teach the right things to kids these days. Someday, this will be a textbook!" Naruto made a face and began to shove the old man into the house.

"Don't say such things where the neighbors could hear you! If you're going to say those things, do it inside where no one can hear or see you! Bye Sasuke!" Sasuke gave a half wave as Naruto got the man the rest of the way into the house and shut the door behind him. Sighing slightly, he continued the rest of the walk home alone. Upon reaching his own mansion, he slid the door shut behind him and kicked his shoes off. The house was almost completely silent and Sasuke sighed slightly.

"Looks like Itachi's off with Hoshigaki again." As he reached the kitchen, he noticed a little yellow sticky note on one of the cabinets.

_Otouto-chan-_

_Off with Kisame to the movies, staying over at his house to study. See you tomorrow!_

_Itachi_

Snorting, the younger Uchiha crumpled the note up and threw it out.

"Bunch of horny animals." However, an hour later, Sasuke was beginning to envy the fact that Itachi actually _had_ someone he spent that much time with. The fact that the sex hadn't gotten old by now was something of a testimony to how much they actually liked each other. Sighing, Sasuke debated calling Neji just to have someone to talk to. Then he remembered that Neji and Lee had left together, heading for Neji's house.

_No, I shouldn't call him. It would only interrupt whatever he and Lee are doing. They're obviously really close and they haven't seen each other for years. They've probably got a lot of catching up to do._

Which only made Sasuke more painfully aware that he was alone. Sighing for the umpteenth time that night, he stood and crossed the room to the phone to order take-out. His hand hovered over the phone for a few seconds and he suddenly wondered if he should call Sakura. Her house wasn't that far away, he could easily get there long before her parents got home. The Uchiha scowled and smashed his head against the wall, groaning.

"I can't believe I'm so desperate!"

"Desperate Emo Princes!" Head snapping up, Sasuke almost fell over from surprise. Naruto was standing there, grinning, and holding a cooler. Sasuke blinked at him a few times, trying to see if he was real or not.

"What…" Rolling his eyes, the blonde's grin deepened and he pushed the cooler into Sasuke's hands.

"My aunt and uncle were visiting and I told my aunt about you. She was afraid you wouldn't have much of anything to eat with just the two of you living alone, so she packed you a bunch of food. I came to deliver it." The Uchiha blinked again and looked down at the cooler.

"How…how did you get in? How do you know where I live?"

"Easy. You didn't lock the front door and everyone knows where the Uchihas live. I just asked my cousin, Konohomaru. Also, your house kinda sticks out. So, oh mighty desperate emo prince. Are you going to stand there like an idiot all night? The food's gonna get cold." Snapping out of it, Sasuke set the cooler on the counter, opening it to check what was inside while watching Naruto out of the corner of his eye. The blond had changed since he last saw him, now wearing black leggings, a white long-sleeved shirt and a black t-shirt over that. Around his neck, now clearly visible, was a crystal necklace with a light blue bead on either side of a long crystal. Once he was certain Sasuke was going to eat, Naruto turned and waved over his shoulder.

"See you later."

"Naruto, wait, I-" The blonde paused and turned around a bit, giving the Uchiha heir a curious look. Sasuke realized just how cripplingly desperate he sounded and swallowed nervously, motioning to the cooler.

"I…I don't think I can eat even half of this by myself. Do you…?" Understanding the invitation, Naruto grinned and turned back around fully.

"Sure! I haven't really had dinner yet. Just let me call my brother and tell him I won't be home for a bit, 'kay?" Trying not to seem too eager, Sasuke nodded and began pulling food out while Naruto dialed a number into the phone. There _was_ a lot of food in the cooler, and all of it looked rather good, not to mention fresh.

"Hey, nii-san, I'm going to be having dinner with Sasuke, 'kay? …Uh…yeah, he invited me to. …No, his brother's not home. Why?" Arashi's voice suddenly came screaming through the earpiece of the phone, loud enough that Sasuke could hear it perfectly.

"_NOOOO! My adorable otouto-chan's innocence is in danger!"_ Arashi's voice was accompanied by another, which Sasuke recognized as the old man from the porch.

"_Hey, now there's an idea for a new book. 'Handsome young heir lures an adorable, unsuspecting blonde uke into his home late at night while his parents are away on a business trip and…'."_

"_AAAAAAAAH! NOOOO!" _Sasuke stared at the phone, unsure what to really think. Naruto…there were not proper words to describe the look on Naruto's face. It was a cross between hate, loathing, disgust, horror, and shame. It was absolutely priceless and Sasuke immediately wanted to take a picture of it and have the caption be; 'Camera: 2,500 dollars. Phone: 50 dollars. Finding out your family is full of deranged loonies, half of whom don't want your virginity to be taken, the other half of whom want you to be raped in the kinkiest way possible for a book plot: Priceless.' ((No, really guys, I can't describe how Naruto looks right now. I'm laughing too hard.)) Arashi's voice could be heard over the earpiece again.

"_Don't go anywhere near him, otouto-chan! I'll be right there to save you!"_ Naruto suddenly snapped back to reality and panicked.

"What?! No! Kurenai-ba-san, don't let nii-san come over here!" There was a loud crashing noise and a female voice that was completely calm, even happy sounding came over the phone.

"_Don't worry, Naruto-kun. Have fun with Uchiha-kun!"_ The line suddenly went dead, but not before the start of a long stream of protests started up. Naruto quickly hung up and gave Sasuke a nervous smile.

"Uh…don't mind them. They're always a little…"

"…Psychotic?" Shrugging, Naruto moved over to the cooler and poked around through the food.

"Wow, Kurenai-ba-san made you a lot of food, huh?" Sasuke nodded and pulled out a plate of teriyaki chicken, still warm to the touch. Naruto pulled out a bag of buttery rolls, putting one on Sasuke's plate and beginning to munch on one himself.

"So where's Uchiha-sempai?" Sasuke split a pair of chopsticks for Naruto before reaching for a pair for himself.

"Off with Kisame. They went to the movies and then back to his house to have sex." Naruto cocked an eyebrow, swallowing a mouthful of bread.

"Did he really tell you that?"

"No. He said they were going to study, but they don't have anything to study. Or at least they don't need to. Itachi is the smartest student in school and Kisame's not dumb either. Those two go at it like dogs in heat."

"Wow. Year-round?"

"Every chance they get."

"Wow. I never thought Jaws would find someone with as much sexual stamina as him." Sasuke shrugged, taking a bite of the teriyaki chicken.

"Hm…hey, this is pretty good." Naruto grinned and stole a bite.

"Yup! Kurenai-ba-san is a world-class cook!" The Uchiha nodded in agreement, taking another bite.

"So how did you meet up with Kisame anyway?"

"Huh? Oh, I was playing in the ocean, a couple of weeks after we moved there, and got caught by some of the currents. I got pulled out really far and then drawn really close to a bunch of rocks. I thought I was going to be crushed, but Kisame had been sitting by the rocks and spotted me. He swam out to me, grabbed me, and then hauled me back to shore. We were on a completely different strand of beach that I didn't recognize, so he brought me home to dry me off and try and find my parents. Luckily, he didn't live far from where I was, so he just took me the rest of the way home." Sasuke nodded a bit in understanding. It made enough sense. Kisame and Naruto seemed awfully friendly, but he supposed it made sense to be friends with the person who saved you.

"Why does he call you Barbie?"

"Dunno. He said I looked a lot like a doll and my hair reminded him of Barbie. It kind of stuck and I haven't been able to get him to stop calling me it ever since." The heir nodded again. They chatted for a bit, telling the other a bit about themselves. They managed to eat almost half the food. The rest Sasuke put in the fridge. Naruto told him to keep the cooler.

"You can always buy us a new one." Sasuke smirked and followed the blonde to the door, watching as he got his shoes and jacket on. They stood awkwardly for a few seconds, neither really knowing what to do or say. Finally, Naruto waved a bit and turned to the door.

"Well, see you at school tomorrow."

"Naruto-" The blonde turned around again and Sasuke found himself in yet another awkward moment. It felt like there was something he _should_ do, but he couldn't figure out what it was.

"Um…thanks. For…the food…and…you know…" Naruto nodded and it got very silent again, both shifting their weight and trying not to look at the other. Finally, Naruto cleared his throat.

"Um…they're…going to get worried. If I'm not home soon, I mean. So…I'll…see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Naruto waved again and left, closing the door behind him. Sasuke just stared after him, feeling really, _really_ stupid for some reason. Sighing, he turned around and trudged into the living room, flopping onto the couch. He couldn't shake the feeling of having missed something really important, and it bugged him. He managed to drag himself into bed around midnight, just stripping down to his boxers and flopping onto the mattress after setting his alarm clock. Itachi, always up at no later than five-thirty for some unknown reason, usually woke him up at six. If Sasuke wasn't out of bed in five minutes, Itachi dragged him to the shower, on and set to its coldest temperature, and tossed him underneath the water, regardless of what he was wearing. This generally served to wake Sasuke up fairly quickly. It also made him curse and swear violently and loudly. Of course, Itachi would always just laugh at him and toss him a towel before heading downstairs to go get a cup of coffee. When Itachi wasn't around, which was no longer a rare thing, he set his alarm clock to be as loud as possible and wake him up at six. And, six hours later, it did in fact go off ridiculously and irritatingly loud. Snarling, Sasuke shoved it off his nightstand. It fell to the carpeted floor, continuing to beep extremely loudly. Sasuke glared and picked himself out of bed to shut it off. All Uchihas _hated_ to get up in the morning. That was probably why Itachi got up so early. It was dark enough that he could convince himself it was still night.

Sasuke flicked the annoying machine off, setting it back onto his nightstand. As he did, his hand brushed the only picture in his room. He gently picked it up, looking it over. It had been taken several years ago. It was of him, Itachi, and his parents.

His mother, Miyumi, was dressed very smartly and very fashionable, as she always was. She had always been able to find the exactly right look for any occasion. No matter where she went, what she wore, it was always perfect. Once she walked into a room, you couldn't take your eyes off her. You couldn't stop thinking about her, even after she was gone. She was always buying clothes for the family, seeing ways they matched up even when others couldn't. Sasuke had always thought the things she bought him would never work together, but then he tried them on and could see. It was no surprise to anyone when she went into fashion design. Her dresses and designs were still being modeled on runways, even now, almost ten years after her death.

His father, Fuugaku, wore his uniform. He had been chief of police for all of Tokyo, one of the most respected people in the whole city. He had been brilliant in designing ways to stop crime more effectively than how they were doing it currently, even if what they were doing at the time were his own ideas. He was not against bringing his sons into the precinct to watch the going-ons and give their own opinions. Itachi had taken little interest in the subject, but Sasuke had been rather fascinated by it. He had studied everything about the police department diligently, adding to his father's pride of him. Itachi had been more interested in the mind of the criminals and would often be seen in the hall between jail cells, talking to the criminals for hours on end. They liked his company. Many of the ones dubbed 'Itachi's Admirers' were released a few months later for good behavior and compliance with police investigations.

Sasuke smiled a bit at the memories before setting the picture back down and getting dressed for school. The sky was gray and thunder rumbled in the distance, moving closer. Sasuke didn't mind the darkened sky; in fact, it proved to brighten his day a bit. What improved his mood even more was a certain blonde classmate of his coming out of his house just as he passed.

"Ah! Sasuke! Wait up!" Sasuke had intended to do such even if Naruto hadn't called to him. The blonde ran down driveway and up to the heir, smiling brightly.

"Good morning!" Nodding slightly, Sasuke began walking again, Naruto falling in step behind him.

"Morning."

"Did you sleep well last night?" Sasuke nodded again, the feeling of having missed something the night before returning to bug him. Naruto filled the quiet air with chatter, something Sasuke wasn't quite used to. What he _was_ used to was walking to and from school in silence. Naruto, however, seemed to scoff at the idea of it. Not that the Uchiha minded. They were pretty much at the school when an overly cheerful (and overly loud) voice drowned out Naruto's.

"_Sasuke-kun_!" Wincing, Sasuke steeled himself as Sakura nearly ran over Naruto and clung to his arm.

"Good morning Sasuke-kun!"

"Hn."

"I brought you a lunch today! And I thought that maybe after school you and I could go to the ice cream parlor together…they just put up some new couples treats and I thought-"

"I can't, sorry." Sakura pouted, her lower lip sticking out and quivering.

"Why not?" Sasuke racked his brain for a reason, but nothing came up. He had nothing to do that evening, not even homework, since that only took an hour or so. Their house was spotless, Itachi took care of their garden, he had _no_ plans for the evening. So he was left giving Sakura this blank look. The girl mistook it ever so slightly and blushed, smiling in this pleased manner that made Sasuke nervous.

"Oh Sasuke-kun, I never knew you were _shy_!" Shy. The very word made Sasuke's face curl in disgust. The very word applied to _himself_ made his face curl in horror and disbelief. An Uchiha? _Shy?_ Like hell! Uchiha's were not _shy_. Cautious? Sure. Suspicious? Every so often. But _shy?_ Sakura didn't notice the look on Sasuke's face and continued talking.

"But don't worry! I mean, we're already going out, and we have been for a long time! If you're nervous, I'm sure Ino and Neji could come with us, like a double date! Unless you want to talk in private, which we can do too! And it's close enough to the school that we can just leave from here! Unless you want to change after school. Oh, that reminds me! I have this new, totally cute outfit I wanted to show you! So how about after school, we each go home and change and then you come by and pick me up around six! Okay? Great! Bye Sasuke-kun!" And with that, the cheerleader was gone into the school, probably to go tell everyone how Sasuke had asked her out to the ice-cream parlor for a couple's dessert. Naruto, rubbing his now sore arm, gave him a slightly sympathetic look.

"I think you need a new girlfriend."

End of Chapter Three

…Well blargh. That wasn't as long as I'd hoped it would be, but I can't think of anything else. I'm kind of at a stuck point, so…blargh again. Eh, I'll probably start the next chapter later tonight, after I finish the next one for my other story. All the while playing World of Warcraft and other miscellaneous things.

…Heh. Moo.


	4. I Could Be Your Girlfriend

A/N: OH GAWDDESS I PHAIL SO HARD AT LIFE! TTTT I've been trying extremely hard to get my stories done, but I've been so damned lazy. There's school and my DA account and friends and parents and GenCon and studying and I HAVE MIDTERMS THIS WEEK! TT TT I'm not ready for them. I'm gonna PHAIL. It's not that I _can't_ do the work, it's that I can't bring myself to actually _do_ the work. I do try! But I get distracted or I make excuses or something like that. TT TT I need ADD medicine or something.

On the bright side, I have a more friends than I can count on one hand. :D Yay! I got adopted by one of my brother's friends and I have a whole scheduled planned out for seeing pretty much all of my friends at least once in the day. Of course, in ten weeks, it's all gonna be screwed over when I get new classes. D: But after midterms I get two weeks off! Maybe I'll actually _do_ something for my poor neglected stories!

But you can see the stuff I've been doing while slacking on my stories on my homepage, which is now my DA account. I'm so happy with most of the pictures up there. I might be tempted to draw scenes from this story when I finish off the ones I promised to do. Gawd, I'm such a failure.

**XExplodingChickenOfDoomx:** Thanks, and thanks for the review!

**Shadow Kitsune67:** X3 Of course he does. This wouldn't be a yaoi story if it didn't have Sasuke getting a new girlfriend (cough boyfriend cough). Thanks for the review!

**Lady Blade WarAngel:** Thanks, and thanks for the review!

**sasunaru panda:** It's amazing what yaoi will do to things. X3 Thanks for the review!

**aloukou101:** Heh. I really wish I could have properly explained Naruto's expression to you guys though. Thanks for the review!

**PirateCaptainBo:** Because we all know Kurenai is a yaoi fangirl in hiding. I'll let her have Asuma just for being as cool as she is. And it's perverted Jiraiya to the-! …Actually, I got nothing. Thanks for the review!

**Niver:** It's all right. If you comment, it doesn't matter to me when you do it. Thanks for the review!

**Ozette:** Thanks, and thanks for the review!

**ChibiesRevil:** Heh. Thanks. And I figured a good relationship-building dinner would be nice. I'm trying to get the whole easing into a relationship thing down, so there's probably going to be a bit of drama in the near future. I've been trying to get the song lines to have some meaning in the chapter, but that might have to end soon. Anyway, thanks for the review!

ONTO THE LONG-AWAITED CHAPTER!

**Chapter Four: I Could Be Your Girlfriend**

Sasuke tapped his pencil on his desk irritably. It had been a week or so since Naruto and Lee had transferred into their school. Nothing terribly exciting had happened in those days, other than the Akatsuki had adopted Naruto. The Akatsuki was the 'gang' in school that both Itachi and Kisame were a part of. They were the most unique, most exotic boys (and one girl) in the school gathered together in a sort of club. Itachi had been accepted due to being one of the rare Uchihas, while Kisame was not only from California, but also rather exotic looking. There was also Sasori, the eldest brother of the Sabaku siblings, Hidan, Kakuzu, Pein, Zetsu, the plant fanatic, Tobi, Zetsu's fanboy and the Akatsuki's lackey, and the Demolition Twins, also known as Deidara and Konan. Both liked to blow things up in science class and pull if off as an accident.

Sasuke had been offered a place among them for being Itachi's brother, but he had declined rather viciously. He hated Itachi, he hated Itachi's friends, and he _really_ didn't want to spend more time than necessary with them. The other reason he didn't want to join was because one time when Itachi had invited them over to his home, he'd walked into the kitchen to find Tobi on top of his refrigerator wearing a lavender apron and having a conversation with a pair of his pants. Of course, he later found out that Tobi was just a little bit ADD, not to mention slightly schizophrenic, but that only added to his not wanting to join.

"And now he's one of them!" Neji looked over his book at the heir.

"Who's one of what?"

"Naruto's one of the Akatsuki!"

"Oh, that." Sasuke gave the Hyuuga a bit of a glare.

"'Oh that'? Everyone in that group is insane!"

"Even Itachi?"

"_Especially_ Itachi." Smiling a bit, Neji just shook his head and went back to his book.

"Uh-huh." Sasuke did the Uchiha equivalent to a pout.

"How can you not understand how serious this is? Naruto is in danger!" Closing his book, Neji gave Sasuke a bit of a grin.

"Sasuke, you don't know this yet, but you'll learn soon enough that it's true. Naruto is almost _always_ in some kind of trouble or another. I'm actually glad that Itachi convinced the rest of the Akatsuki to adopt him as their lower-classman. At least this way he'll have a ten people, ourselves not included, keeping an eye out for him. And they won't even try anything since they're pretty much all in relationships already and Kisame and Uzumaki-sensei will cause severe amounts of pain to anyone who tries something. Besides, Naruto may look fragile and delicate, but he can take care of himself. I'm really not concerned at all." Sasuke Uchiha-pouted again. He had been bested by Neji's calm logic. _Again_. Then another thing popped into his head, one that had been making him just as irritated.

"Where _is_ Naruto anyway?" Neji's smile faltered and he looked down.

"He's…probably out sick…"

"Sick? With what?"

"Well, it's not uncommon for Naruto to get really bad migraines. They usually come once every two months or so. He locks himself in a room on the top floor and just hides there all day."

"Wouldn't the basement be better?" Neji shook his head, leaning back a bit.

"No. If he's in a basement or a lower floor, he can hear people moving around above him and it makes him freak. His family is really careful about it. They make sure he always gets the top-most room and has a hammock to sleep in so he can't hear the vibrations in the floors. They also get these thick black sheets to put over his windows so no light gets in. If they can they soundproof the walls, floor and ceiling they will. They usually just leave him there until it wears off, leaving bread and water for him to eat and drink." Sasuke let out a low breath, a concerned look on his face.

"It sounds bad."

"It is. They can't figure out why he gets them and there doesn't seem to be any medication for it, so the only thing they can do is just wait for it to pass. They only last a couple of days though. He takes a sleep medication so he can sleep through most of it." Sasuke nodded, turning this new information over in his head. The thought of the happy-go-lucky blonde in agony for two days with almost no relief was…depressing, to say the least.

Since it was the last period of the day, the bell rang about five minutes later and the duo headed for the entrance. Along they way, they met up with Lee, whom had been called to the headmaster's office for something. He seemed to be moving much, much faster now.

"Hey Neji!"

"Lee, there you are. Where were you?" The boy looked a bit sheepish, scratching the back of his head.

"Well…Godaime-sama made me take off the weights…" Sasuke cocked an eyebrow.

"You've been wearing weights?" Lee nodded.

"…Why?" Rolling his eyes, Neji shouldered his bag and continued for the front doors.

"Lee does training with his sensei, Gai. The weights are part of it." Sasuke nodded slowly, watching the odd boy out of the corner of his eye. Lee seemed really…uncomfortable. He kept darting ahead of them and then coming back, tapping his toes on the ground, rubbing his shins with his heels, and fidgeting. Neji noticed too and frowned.

"Just how much do you wear those things?" The odd youth suddenly looked a bit sheepish and fidgeted again, rubbing the back of his leg with his foot.

"Um…well…" There was a bit of silence, then the Hyuuga sighed.

"Lee…"

"I-it's not like they hurt or anything! A-and I don't sleep with them on!"

"Not the point. You shouldn't wear them so much." Lee looked like a hurt puppy. The look had never worked on Sasuke, nor had it ever worked on Neji. Though the brunette seemed to be falling for it. Lee ruined it by suddenly seeming to realize something.

"Where's Naruto-kun?"

"It took you the whole day to realize he was gone?"

"Well, it _is_ Naruto-kun."

"Oh. Right." Sasuke cocked an eyebrow at this, but neither of the two filled him in.

"I'm guessing he's out sick again." Lee looked upset now, like someone had just grabbed his heartstrings and yanked on them.

"I thought he was getting medicine…" Neji sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Lee, when has medicine _ever_ worked for Naruto?"

"Good point…"

"Where's Naruto?" The trio turned to see a few people at least one of them didn't want to see. Neji bowed his head.

"Sempais." Itachi nodded to the Hyuuga, his fellow Akatsuki members following his lead. His fellow comrades in crime included Kisame (which was typical, since you barely ever saw Itachi without Kisame and vice versa), Sasori and his hyperactive boyfriend, the blonder half of the Demolition Twins. Also known as Deidara.

"Otouto-chan."

"Ass-hole."

"How crude, but not unexpected. Hyuuga-kun, I was wondering if you could repeat your theory as to Naruto-kun's whereabouts." Sasuke really hated how Itachi could call him _Naruto­_-kun instead of _Uzumaki_-kun. Since Naruto was the adoptee of the Akatsuki, they were entitled to be a little friendlier with him. Which pissed Sasuke off to no ends. Especially since they'd taken to calling him by their own little nicknames (Kisame called him Barbie, Deidara and Konan called him Whiskers, Hidan called him Sunshine, Kakuzu called him kid, Pein called him a headache…).

"He's most likely out sick." Kisame made a humming noise in his throat.

"That's right, his migraines." Sasuke's eye twitched just barely, but his face didn't move other than that.

"You know about them?"

"Yeah. Hard to be friends with him and not." Kisame had no idea, but he had just mashed an entire fistful of salt into an open, gaping wound. He, blissfully unaware, continued.

"Actually, it's pretty much impossible." And there was the vinegar. Sasuke felt like hiding in a corner and crying. He hadn't known about the migraine thing until today, but he'd spent most of his time since meeting Naruto with said blonde. And every time they actually talked, it was usually about Sasuke or what Naruto liked. Sasuke felt…pretty awful. Itachi noticed and gave a small 'hm'.

"Yes, Kisame did mention that a bit ago." He'd thought something had been missing. Itachi kindly supplied the lemon juice that had been vacant. Having done enough damage to his little brother for the time being, Itachi turned his attention back to Neji. Both the Hyuuga and Lee were unaware of Sasuke's self-loathing state.

"Can he see people?" Neji seemed to think it over, then nodded.

"Yeah. But they have to be extremely quiet." Itachi nodded.

"Very well. Sasuke, you can go see Naruto-kun as a representative of the Akatsuki."

"I can _WHAT_?!" The elder Uchiha kept the grin off his face flawlessly.

"You can go see Naruto-kun as our representative."

"Like hell! One of you go!"

"We're all unable to. Kisame's size makes it difficult to be quiet, I have to stay with him to console him over being unable to go, Sasori has to take care of his younger siblings, Deidara and Konan are staying after to help with the science fair, Tobi and Zetsu have their part-time jobs at the flower shop to attend to, Hidan is helping out his church, Kakuzu is assisting his father at his bank, and Pein is having a student government meeting." However much of a passion Sasuke hated the Akatsuki with, he grudgingly had to admit that they were rather well diversified.

"As if I would go as your damn gang's 'representative'."

"Language, one, two we're not a 'gang' but an organization and three, you're going over to Naruto-kun's to make sure he's all right anyway, aren't you?" Sasuke hated, and I mean _hated_ to be outsmarted by his brother. Actually, he hated to be outsmarted by anybody. He hated to be out-_anything_-ed by anybody. But he hated it even harder when it was Itachi who out-did him. Actually, hated was too kind a term. He _loathed_ and _utterly despised_ it with a fierce, fiery passion. And Itachi out-did him _constantly_. In grades, in sports, in fighting, in wits, in vocabulary, in having control over his emotions, in how many girls he could have fall in love with him, in how many _guys_ he could have fall in love with him, in how long he could have sex (actually, they weren't too sure about this one since Sasuke had never really had sex and they hadn't had a chance to measure how long he could last, but they just assumed that award went to Itachi since at one point he had been gone for four whole days over a break to Kisame's house and they only got roughly twenty-four hours of sleep the whole four days), in fashion, in how many friends he had, in just about everything.

So you could understand why Sasuke was always so angry.

"…"

"Then it's settled. You'll go as our representative to make sure he's all right."

"I'm going to kill you one of these days." Kisame grinned and draped an arm around Itachi's waist.

"I wouldn't allow it, Sasuke-kun." Oh yes. Kisame called him by his first name. Another thing about Itachi's boyfriend that pissed him off, and in turn yet another thing about Itachi that pissed him off. Itachi grinned at Sasuke's glare and waved to his younger brother as he and Kisame headed for Kisame's car.

"See you when you get home, otouto-chan." Sasori smirked at him.

"Say hello to Naruto-kun for me." Deidara grinned, following his self-proclaimed 'Danna'.

"Later Spazz-cat." And there was one of the reasons he hated Deidara. After he had freaked over Tobi talking to his pants, Sasori had mentioned how he spazzed out too easily like some hyperactive cat. So Deidara began calling him Spazz-cat. If anyone else had mentioned it, Deidara would have waved it off as unimportant information. But Sasori said it. So he took it to heart. Which was one of the reasons Sasuke hated Sasori: because he was the one who brought about Spazz-cat.

"I really hate all of those bastards." Neji rolled his eyes heavenward and shook his head, turning towards Naruto's house. Lee looked a bit confused.

"Why do you hate them so much, Sasuke-san? Uchiha-sempai seems really nice, and so do the rest of the Akatsuki." Sasuke _could_ hate Lee for implying the Akatsuki were 'nice', but Lee always called him Sasuke-_san_, even though he didn't have to, so the younger Uchiha forgave his ignorance.

"They're all plotting bastards! Itachi is always gloating over how much better than me he is and that damned boyfriend of his is…is…so not Itachi's type!" The only one not really participating in the conversation had to resist the urge to giggle. Sasuke had several reasons why he disliked Kisame and none of them made sense to anyone who wasn't Itachi's brother. Neji had learned to just nod and listen to Sasuke rant about the supposed stupidity of it all. Lee, on the other hand, made a point of questioning things that were accepted as is. Predicting this to be extremely entertaining, Neji tuned in an ear to the two.

At the moment, Lee was getting ready to question everything Sasuke stood for.

"What's wrong with Uchiha-sempai going out with Hoshigaki-sempai? They seem happy with each other."

"That's just it! They shouldn't be! Kisame isn't really smart, he's crude, he's blunt, he's loud, he's cocky, he's arrogant, he's everything Itachi hates! He hates people who aren't as smart as him but act like they are, he hates people who are always crude, he hates people who don't know how to handle delicate situations, he hates people that are always loud, he hates people who are always arrogant, there's no way he should like him!" Lee shook his head.

"I think you are missing a great deal, Sasuke-san." Sasuke's tone got rather flat.

"Oh really. And what am I missing?"

"Uchiha-sempai's masochistic nature." There was an awfully long pause, then Sasuke finally spoke again.

"His what?" Neji almost burst into laughter at the tone in Sasuke's voice. He was so glad he had decided to listen in. Lee continued, giving reason to his stand in the debate.

"From what I heard, Uchiha-sempai got together with Kisame right after losing a match against him, correct?"

"Pretty much, yeah. Why?"

"Up until the loss, he had bested everyone he came across, always coming out without any scratch. He'd won every challenge and had never lost at all. Correct?"

"I don't see where you're going with this, but yeah."

"And he didn't like Hoshigaki-sempai _before_ he lost, right?"

"He hated him. It was the only time I'd ever seen him so mad."

"Well, my theory, and this is just theory, I can't prove if it's true, is that he went into his fight with Hoshigaki-sempai, expecting to win and leave him as nothing more than a bested opponent. When he lost, he was confused and disoriented. All he could think about was how he'd been beaten and the person that had finally beat him. More than likely, due to a masochistic side I believe he has, he saw Hoshigaki-sempai differently. He began to see him as someone who could pose a challenge to him instead of just another defeated person like everyone else. This made Hoshigaki-sempai more attractive and alluring to him. Hoshigaki-sempai liked Uchiha-sempai to begin with for whatever reasons and as such, they got together." Sasuke and Lee had stopped walking about halfway through Lee's explanation, since Sasuke was too stunned to perform basic functions. Trying very, _very_ hard not to laugh, Neji double-backed around behind the Uchiha and placed two hands on his shoulder blades, pushing him down the sidewalk.

"Keep moving, Sasuke. Come on Lee." The youth blinked and trotted after them, probably wondering why Sasuke looked so shocked as he did. About two minutes later, Sasuke finished processing the theory and Neji recognized the look that came over his face: stubborn reluctance. He glared elsewhere, doing the Uchiha equivalent of a sulk.

"I _still_ don't think they should be so happy together." Most people would have taken this to be the end of the conversation. Lee was not and had never been among the 'most' percent of the population.

"Well, why wouldn't they? It's common for opposites to attract. And on top of that, I've gathered from the way they react to each other, Kisame poses a challenge to Itachi, since he acts differently than everyone else. For example, even when Itachi beats him at something, he doesn't get upset or angry, but acts like he won something much more important. People don't usually act like this when Itachi defeats them, so it interests him and he stays with Kisame since he's more interesting than anyone else he's met. Kisame, again, likes Itachi for whatever reasons and is more than happy to stay with him."

"It still doesn't make sense."

"Sure it does. Haven't you always found people who are like everyone else to be boring and not worth your time?"

"Of course I-" Then Lee gave him The Look. Sasuke had never seen The Look before, but somehow he knew that's what it should be titled and he knew it was 'The', singular, Look, instead of just A Look. The Look made him stop and think over his answer before actually giving it, something he hadn't intended to do. But The Look seemed to command him to do so.

"…Do." The Look was off Lee's face faster than anything Sasuke had ever seen and he beamed.

"See? Itachi is bored with everyone being alike all the time. He deems them unworthy of his time and finds them to be nothing more than tedious and boring. But with Kisame, he sees something different, and as such is attracted to him." Sasuke pulled off the Uchiha-Scowl. The Uchiha-Scowl had been developed by Itachi, perfected by Itachi, and used by Itachi quite a bit. It wasn't a full-blown scowl like most people, but much more refined. The edges of Sasuke's lips pulled down just slightly, his lower lip sticking out a bit. His eyes seemed to darken and become colder as his brows were pulled down a bit.

"But it still doesn't make sense. I mean, everyone in the Akatsuki is different from the general population. That's why the damn gang even exists. Why doesn't he go out with any of _them_?"

"Have any of them ever challenged Itachi?"

"Yes."

"Have they ever won?"

"Well…no…"

"Did they ever challenge him again?"

"…" Grinning, Neji turned a bit and called over his shoulder to the Uchiha-sulking Sasuke.

"Sasuke, answer the question." Sasuke shot him a glare that clearly stated 'you bloody traitor'.

"…No." Lee looked victorious.

"I think I've made my point by now." Sasuke had nothing to add, having been bested for the first time in his life by someone other than Itachi. He just glared off at the street, just scowling instead of trying to refine his features. Neji smiled back at Lee, only adding to the youth's triumphant feeling. Lee beamed back at him. The Hyuuga suddenly noticed where they were and stopped, smile slipping off his lips some.

"We're here." Lee and Sasuke pulled up short as well, the carefree happy feeling dissipating rather quickly. They all exchanged looks before Neji opened the gate door and led them in and up to the door. There was a note on it asking for people to press the intercom button and speak quietly. Sasuke felt his chest harden.

"Do they really get that bad?" The other two nodded and Neji pressed the indicated button, lowering his voice some.

"Excuse me." A male voice answered, one that was rather rough but soft.

"_Neji-kun?"_

"Jiraiya-san, I hope we're not intruding, but Lee, Sasuke and I were wondering…"

"_No, not at all. He can see a few people, but you'll have to be quiet. Hang on a moment."_ The intercom flicked off and they waited for a few seconds before the door opened to reveal an elderly man with long, white hair and black eyes. Sasuke recognized him to be the man who sat on Naruto's porch and wrote porn. He looked all three of them over before stepping aside and letting them in. He kept his voice soft, but loud enough that they could hear.

"He's up on the third floor. There's a kind of trap door you can open to get into the third floor hallway. Just close it behind you before you open his door." Neji nodded and he and Lee set their things down, removing their shoes and jackets. Sasuke followed suit, folding his neatly to rest on his bag. Jiraiya closed the door behind them and went back to what Sasuke assumed was the kitchen. Neji beckoned him forward towards a set of stairs. The house was eerily quiet, almost unnaturally so. Actually, it _was_ unnatural. They made it to a sort of later with a door at the top. The Hyuuga went first, gently opening it and disappearing into the opening it made. Lee followed after him, Sasuke just behind the boy. The hallway was completely dark and everything was covered in carpet or something soft. Sasuke closed the trap door after them, giving his eyes a few seconds to adjust. It took the three boys a few minutes to find each other and then feel along the wall until they found the door. Neji whispered to Sasuke, voice so low it almost couldn't be heard.

"Naruto gets a little disoriented when he gets these migraines, so it may take him a bit to remember who we are." Lee spoke up as well, somewhere to Sasuke's left.

"He might say some things that really don't make sense. I don't know what he'll think about you, but he talks to Neji about how he doesn't have to be so sad that he's part of the branch family and he his destiny can change. He also tells me how I'm not a loser and I'm a genius like Neji." Said Hyuuga spoke again.

"We have no idea what it's all about, but it's better to just kind of agree with him for a while until he remembers." Sasuke nodded, then remembered they couldn't really see him.

"All right." The two might have nodded, but Sasuke couldn't tell. Neji opened the door and slipped in, holding onto Lee and Sasuke so they didn't run into the wall. Sasuke could make out basic shapes, like a table near the wall with something on it (bread, he assumed) and a large dark mass stretched between two walls. Neji held them back and called out softly.

"Naruto-kun?" The mass shifted and looked like it might have rolled over to face them. A raspy, cracked voice called out to them quietly.

"Ne…ji…?" The three crept forward until they were in front of the mass. Up close, Sasuke could see that it was in fact Naruto. The blonde looked scared and tired and sad and depressed and hopeful all at the same time. It grabbed Sasuke's heartstrings and yanked violently on them. Neji smiled weakly and gently took his hand, kneeling in front of him.

"How are you feeling?" Naruto gave a weak smile, as if he were trying to smile more but couldn't.

"I'm okay. Tsunade-baa-chan will find medicine soon…Sakura-chan too…she's really good with medicine now…"

"Er…right…" Sasuke figured this was one of those 'We have no idea what the Hell he's talking about' things. He had never heard about Sakura being good with medicine. Lee spoke up this time.

"Naruto-kun, we brought Sasuke-san with us." There was a pause and Sasuke braced himself for whatever came.

"He's…he's back?" Back? Back from _where_?

_Where did I go? Where did _his_ version of me go?_

"Uh…sure…" Now Naruto's voice sounded a bit confused.

"But…I thought…you were going to kill Itachi…and become Orochimaru's body…" Okay, _that_ was creepy. Sure, he wouldn't mind killing Itachi, but becoming Orochimaru-sensei's _body_? What did that even mean? Like a sex-toy or something? Faltering slightly, Sasuke tried to keep rolling with it.

"I…changed my…mind?" A hand reached out from the mass and touched his face, as if to see if he were real.

"See…? I told you…revenge isn't everything…" The Uchiha leaned forward and could just see a small smile on Naruto's face. He smiled weakly back, awkwardly patting his head gently.

"Yeah…"

"But…I am sorry that Itachi…killed your whole clan…"

_He what now._

Sasuke…wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. Itachi killed his whole clan? He honestly couldn't see Itachi doing that. Neither could Lee or Neji, apparently. But they just kept rolling with it. They both simultaneously nudged Sasuke and he jerked back into reality. Or rather, Naruto's crazy migraine reality.

"Yeah…well…" _What the hell does one say in a situation like this_?! 'Naruto, I think you've gone bat-fuck insane 'cause I have no idea what the hell you're talking about'? That would be special nice.

"Is he still part…of the Akatsuki?" Yay! A question Sasuke could answer easily!

"For now and forever is my guess." For some reason, Naruto deflated. His hand slid off Sasuke's face and he leaned back into his mass of pillows and blankets.

"Then I'm still in danger…" Neji gently touched his forehead.

"Naruto…" The blonde shook his head and smiled.

"It's okay. Kakashi-sensei is really strong…he'll take care of me. Ero-sannin as well…and Sakura-chan…she helped kill one of them, Sasori, right?"

_My ditzy girlfriend killed Sasori?_

The likeliness of that happening…_ever_ was low. Nay, non-existent. It was inconceivable. Sasori may look like a male model, but he was mean and sadistic and, in Sasuke's book, like any other Akatsuki member, truly, truly evil. And he liked puppets. It was a little bit creepy at times.

"Uh…sure…"

"I thought so…how's Gaara?" When did Gaara come into this? Sasuke suddenly stepped back and came into the question again from a different angle. Naruto had never even _met_ Gaara. How the hell did he know his name, why was he asking about him specifically, and what did it matter? Sasuke wished he hadn't asked this, since none of them knew the answer to it. Gaara stuck to himself and his siblings, and he barely even opened up to them. The only person he possibly liked was Kankurou, and that bit of information had only been gathered from how much more time Gaara spent with Kankurou than Temari or Sasori. Which wasn't much, in actuality. But they had to say _something_.

"He's…all right."

"Can he sleep now?" Can he sleep _now_, which suggested that before he couldn't. Again, Sasuke had to wonder why. Why was Gaara's sleep schedule any concern of Naruto's? Come to think of it, he had heard Sasori mention how Gaara had such bad insomnia. But how did Naruto know that? And why did he care?

"I…guess so."

"That's good…then maybe he isn't afraid anymore…" Sasuke could feel Neji exchange glances. They'd all _seen_ Gaara; they just didn't know him personally. What the hell could _Gaara_ be afraid of? Gaara was like…almost the scariest person in the whole school. He wasn't even afraid of Itachi.

"Afraid…of what?"

"The Shukaku eating his soul." And now ancient demon legends had been added to the mix. Sasuke felt woefully confused at the moment, and he could tell from the awkward auras from either side of him that Neji and Lee were in the same state. They were just handling it better than he was.

"Yeah…"

"But I wish this headache would go away…I thought the Kyuubi had super healing powers…" Sasuke felt his brain twitch again. Shukaku and the Kyuubi. There seemed to be this ongoing theme of the ancient tailed demons. What did it mean anyway? What did the Kyuubi having healing powers have to do with anything?

"I guess…they're not working?"

"That's weird…it's never happened…before…" He suddenly groaned and pulled further into the mass, muffled whimpers rising from it. Neji and Lee instantly moved forward, worry probably showing clear on their faces.

"N-Naruto-kun?" There were a few sniffles and Naruto's voice returned to them.

"It hurts…" Neji stroked his shoulder, an action Sasuke took to mean touching Naruto's head would only make it hurt worse.

"I know. I know." It was quiet for a while and Sasuke moved away so that Lee and Neji could be closer to the blonde. When Naruto finally started talking again, he was back to normal. Well, as normal as Naruto _got_. Which, Sasuke was learning, wasn't much. Still, he had to wonder about all those things Naruto was saying before he switched back to normal. It had to more than just coincidence. How could he know Gaara? Unless Sasori had mentioned him. But when? And why would Naruto ask about him specifically? They couldn't have become friends in such a short amount of time. Naruto was rarely out of Sasuke's sight, except when he was at home. And even then, he never said anything about knowing Gaara.

There were a lot of pieces that just didn't quite fit together. And, being an Uchiha, Sasuke desperately wanted to find the missing ones. However, it bothered him to think that there may not be anything to find.

End of Chapter Four

Urgh…I'm so sorry it took so long to write this. I have midterms the day after tomorrow, and I so don't think I'm ready for them. On the bright side, in three days, I have two weeks of vacation. And I found out that next semester I have Creative Writing I, which means next year I can take Creative Writing II. This is awesome because CW II is essentially an independent study period, or so my senior friend has told me. I am so happy! Anyway, read, review, throw something at my head, see ya'll later!


	5. I Know That You Like Me

A/N: Right, so I'm _kind of _sorry. Not completely though. I've had a lot to do lately.

Anywho, before I begin the chapter, I'm going to skip over the review reply part because of an ongoing theme in the reviews that I'm going to address:

**The only time anyone remembers the canon plot line is Naruto and it's only, only, **_**only**_** when he's having his migraines.**

I'm sorry if you were all jumping up and down waiting for that, but…well, actually, no, I'm not sorry, but anyway, I never intended to make them remember. Naruto and Sasuke aren't spontaneously going to get together due to the canon past, since that would be kind of boring for me. Yes, isn't it shocking? I'm totally selfish and only writing this for myself.

If you're horribly upset about this, there are many other pages of SasuNaru.

Those who are fine either way, read on.

Furthermore, I think I stated earlier that while I may do a one where they remember their past lives, this would not be it. Then again, I seriously doubt that any of you read the comment things anyway, so nevermind.

Oh, **Yusin:** gets hit in the head with shoe D: I'm updating I'm updating! (Dear god, have I relly not updated since September? Holy crap you may now beat my lazy ass!)

**Chapter Five: I Know That You Like Me**

Sasuke wandered into his house, mind still reeling. So, from what he could tell, Naruto knew Gaara, knew about his insomnia issues, was convinced Itachi had murdered the entire Uchiha clan and was part of an evil organization known as the Akatsuki (that second part Sasuke whole-heartedly agreed with), was convinced that Itachi and Kisame were coming after him for the demon sealed inside of him, Neji was part of the cadet branch of the Hyuuga clan and had up until recently been obsessed with his destiny, Sasuke had joined Orochimaru (which signified that said snake-lover was somehow against Naruto's 'faction') to try and get stronger to kill Itachi, after killing the elder Uchiha he would then become Orochimaru's body (still wasn't sure if that was a sex thing or what), Sakura was good at medicine and under Tsunade's teachings, she'd killed Sasori (which really made no sense) and Lee wasn't a loser (which Sasuke wasn't sure he agreed with or not).

…Well that certainly made sense. No matter how Sasuke looked at it, he couldn't find any logic behind those. Neji and Lee seemed to be used to this by now, and they tried to reassure the Uchiha.

"Naruto talks nonsense like that all the time when he's got his migraines."

"Okay, that I can understand, but how did he know about Gaara's sleeping disorder? And what was with all the demon stuff?" Neji and Lee exchanged glances, apparently no answer coming to them. They were quiet for too long for Sasuke's attention span to hold interest. He shook his head.

"It doesn't make any sense." Neji gave him an apologetic smile.

"Naruto hardly ever makes sense. You'll learn that soon enough, don't worry." Sasuke scowled and pouted.

"Yeah, well he's making even less sense now." They headed up the steps to Sasuke's house, Sasuke muttering under his breath darkly while Lee and Neji exchanged amused looks. The looks didn't go unnoticed by Sasuke, whose mood darkened even more. He knew Lee and Neji had been close, for longer than he and the Hyuuga had, but he hated the thought that he was being pushed out of Neji's life so rudely and abruptly. He nearly slammed the door open and felt his insides curl in disgust as he spotted his brother and _that man_ cuddling together on the couch.

"If you two start screwing on the couch, I swear I'll kick your asses out on the street." Itachi snorted at his little brother, bringing Kisame's arm around his waist.

"What makes you think we haven't had sex here. How's Naruto-kun, by the way?" Sasuke looked disgusted while Lee answered.

"Naruto-kun is doing all right. Or...as all right as he is during his migraines." Sasuke finally spoke.

"You two are shameless. I'm going to get something to eat." Itachi easily answered such an insult.

"We've done it on your bed too, and I'm not telling you when or which sheets it was on." Sasuke's entire body stopped and then he suddenly disappeared quickly into the kitchen, probably to go curl up in the fetal position for a while. Lee scratched the back of his head, smiling a bit.

"I am glad I am an only child." Kisame gave a toothy grin.

"Yeah, me too. So, Barbie doin' okay?" Neji gave an affirmative nod.

"He talked nonsense for a bit, which now greatly plagues Sasuke." The elder Uchiha smirked slightly, snuggling back in Kisame's lap.

"Good. It should keep him occupied for a while." Kisame grinned and nuzzled him.

"More time for us. Sweet." There was a loud and slightly angered cry from the kitchen.

"Fuck you Itachi!" Kisame called back.

"My job, thanks!" One could hear Sasuke swearing violently in the kitchen if you listened. Itachi smirked and turned back to the other two teens.

"So what kind of nonsense did he talk about?" Lee gave them a brief summary about what Naruto had said, leaving both of them rather confused. Much like Sasuke, actually. It was amusing how the two Uchihas disliked each other greatly yet looked so similar so often. Itachi shook it off soon enough and settled back.

"At least it's something to keep Sasuke busy." Kisame grinned and nibbled Itachi's ear a bit.

"Sounds plenty good to me." Itachi smiled and tilted his head into the small biting.

"He might not even mind if we-" Itachi's sentence was cut off as Sasuke dumped a bucket of ice water onto their heads. Itachi let out a loud yelp and leapt away from the couch, drenched and cold. Kisame fell off the couch as well, blinking in surprise. Sasuke snorted.

"_That's_ for having sex on my bed." Itachi's face pulled into the infamous Uchiha Look of Rage and he let out a loud snarl.

"You'll _pay_ for that." Sasuke got an 'oh shit' look on his face and dropped the bucket and ran. Itachi leapt over the couch easily and tore after his little brother, chasing him off towards the dojo in the back yard. Sasuke knew he was in for a beating and he at least wanted it to be in a place that had a first aid kit handy. Lee helped Kisame up from his place on the ground. Kisame didn't do well with cold water on a general basis, and he really didn't do well with it when he wasn't ready for it. Lee and Neji helped him up and after the Uchihas. They could hear Sasuke yelping as Itachi beat him rather thoroughly for interrupting his Kisa-funtime. Neji smiled a bit grimly.

_That reminds me, I have to do the 'thank god I'm an only child' dance when I get home._

**LOOK, I'M A LINE THAT TAKES UP SPACE! :D HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! xD**

Naruto bounded into the classroom with _way_ too much enthusiasm. Sasuke looked up from his arms and glared at the blonde, who beamed happily at him.

"Wow Sasuke, Itachi-san beat you bad, huh?" If only the Uchiha glare would work on Naruto. If only _any_ glare would work on Naruto.

"...Yeah. He hates getting cold water thrown on him." Naruto beamed and made an awwing sound, patting Sasuke's head.

"Poor baby Uchiha!" Sasuke almost attacked Naruto right then and there, but class was about to start so he had to refrain. His mood only soured when he saw Neji and Lee chatting comfortably not so far away. Neji was sitting in his chair, Lee standing and partly leaning over him. If you looked at it correctly...actually...no matter _how_ you looked at it, it looked like Lee was flirting with Neji. And it looked like Neji was responding _positively_ to it. Sasuke deflated, turning his eyes to the front of the classroom. It had taken years for Sasuke to get so close to the Hyuuga, to make himself the most important person in Neji's life. And then, in a week or so, Lee had come back and taken that position without really trying. Or even realizing it. Sasuke glowered at the front of the class, moping. He didn't mope as elegantly as Itachi, which only made him mope more. He heard an amused sound to his right.

"Mope, mope, mope goes the emo prince, as he watches his friend flirt. Mope, mope, mope he goes, woe oh woe is me."

"Chatter chatter chatter goes the blonde monkey, as he makes the emo prince want to kill him. Chatter chatter chatter he goes, shut oh shut the hell up." Naruto laughed a bit.

"Cheer up Sasuke. If it makes you feel better, Neji always kind of had a thing for Lee, even after he left. But I'm here, and I make everything better." Sasuke glared at him and went back to moping. He moped pretty much all through class, still doing the work but moping throughout the whole thing. Naruto was so disgustingly chipper that it made Sasuke feel even worse. He mentally brought out the list of things about Naruto to figure out and tacked on looking for the origin of Naruto's happiness and _destroying it_. If he was miserable, everyone else had better be miserable too. And when he left the classroom, he added another thing to his 'Must Destroy' list. It was Sakura. And what made her happy.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke's whole body flinched as she latched onto his arm with a leech-like grip. She rubbed up against him in a not so subtle fashion, trying to get him to notice her non-existent breasts.

"What's wrong Sasuke-kun? Did someone hurt you?" Yes, destroy Sakura. Destroy her for making him remember how badly Itachi had beaten him last night. He glared a bit and tried to detach his arm from her grip.

"I don't want to talk about it." Sakura pouted, looking hurt.

"Sasuke, you've been acting so cold to me lately! I'm starting to think you don't like me anymore!" Gee, what had tipped her off?

"It's that blonde brat, isn't it!" Sasuke had to stop at this, a bit shocked. He looked down at her, blinking.

"Naruto?" Sakura scowled in that 'I'm pretty and I'm not getting my way so I'm mad' way.

"Listen Sasuke, I don't want you talking to that little homo ever again! You're my boyfriend and he just needs to learn to keep his filthy little hands off you!" Sasuke couldn't even get enough brain power to say anything. He did notice, however, Neji coming at Sakura with a deadly scowl on his face. Apparently, he'd heard Sakura's words. Before he could get to them though, a hand grabbed the back of Sasuke's shirt and spun him around. And suddenly his lips were being crushed to warm, soft one's. Another hand slid through his hair, keeping him there. Not that Sasuke would have moved anyway. Wide eyes stared down at Naruto's face, blue eyes gleaming with mischievous. A teasing tongue pressed against his lips, sliding over them and coaxing them open. And then he could taste Naruto. The blonde tasted sweet, almost indescribable. He wasn't sure if he'd moved his tongue into Naruto's mouth or if Naruto did it. Either way, he could feel their tongues entwining with each other, wrapping and twisting and tasting each other. The hall was dead silent, not a single person saying a word or even breathing that loudly. Naruto pulled away, leaving Sasuke leaning over a bit, mouth open and tongue almost hanging out. The blonde grinned in a fox-like manner.

"Sorry, couldn't help it. Just had to try a taste." He smiled and waved to Sasuke, skipping off down the hall. No one said anything for a long time, just staring in shock and trying to figure out if what they'd just seen was real. It was one thing for Kisame to kiss Itachi in the cafeteria. It was an entirely different thing for Naruto to go up to Sasuke in the middle of the hallway and French kiss him in front of Sakura. Sasuke suddenly realized his mouth was hanging open and he quickly shut it, actually blushing for once in his life. He hurried off to the bathroom to go try and regain himself. And escape Sakura's wrath when she came to her senses. He quickly shut the bathroom door behind him, going over to the mirror. His lips were slightly darker in color and his face was flushed a bit. And he could still taste Naruto. He could still remember exactly how Naruto's tongue had curled around his, how his hand had tangled in his hair, how his lips had melted so perfectly against his own. Hell, he could still _feel_ it. It was like he and Naruto were still kissing. He gasped a bit, suddenly out of breath. And he noticed something else. He was painfully, _painfully_ aroused. Swearing slightly, he let his head drop and leaned over the sink. He'd hardly ever been aroused before. The last time he could remember was when he'd first seen Neji completely naked in the school showers. He'd gotten over his lust for his friend easily enough after a few weeks. Now he'd have to do it all over again with Naruto. Though this time, he didn't think it would be so easy.

"Wow, looks like that kiss went a long way for you, huh princey?" Sasuke's head snapped up and he looked to his left where Naruto was standing incredibly close, eyes looking down at his crotch where his erection was easily visible. Turning a bit pink, Sasuke pulled away and tried to cover himself.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" The blonde grinned at him, moving over to sit on the counter.

"Yeah, probably. But so should you." Sasuke looked away, pressing his stomach to the counter. There was no way in _hell_ he was going to class like this.

"I'll skip." Naruto beamed.

"Because you're horny? Maybe you should call Sakura and ask her to skip with you so you can take care of your problem." And there was no way in hell Sasuke was going to tell Naruto that Sakura wouldn't really be able to take care of his 'problem'. He just scowled at his reflection.

"This is all your fault." Naruto cocked his head.

"Oh? How so?" Sasuke turned his glare on the blonde.

"You shouldn't have kissed me, especially not in front of Sakura." Naruto huffed a bit.

"It's not my fault you're too chicken to just break up with her. You don't even like her, so why is it such a big deal?" Sasuke growled, finally snapping at the other.

"Who I'm with is none of your concern! I'd never go out with a freak like you anyway so just butt out and mind your own damn business!" He regretted those words even before they finished leaving his mouth. A look of pure, raw hurt passed over Naruto's face. Before Sasuke could take his words back, Naruto slapped him so hard he was sure there would be a mark in just a few minutes. The blonde ran out of the bathroom, trying not to cry. By the time the Uchiha had regained his senses enough to run after him, Naruto was long gone. Sasuke felt horrible. Naruto hadn't even been doing anything wrong. Sasuke wasn't happy with Sakura and Naruto knew it. That was why he was pushing him to break up with her. He was just trying to help him. And Sasuke had hurt him for it. The Uchiha groaned and put his head in his hands.

_I am such an asshole..._

**D: OH TEH NOES! TEH SPACE! IT EATS YOU! OM NOM NOM! D:**

Sasuke stared at the ground listlessly, hunched over and sitting on the bleachers outside. He was waiting for Neji. He knew the Hyuuga would either come to him to find out what was wrong, or Naruto had gotten to him first and he would come out to beat the shit out of him. Sasuke kind of hoped Neji would beat him up. However, luck was not with him and Neji came over, a worried look on his face.

"Sasuke? What's wrong? You and Naruto didn't show up for any classes after the thing in the hall." Sasuke didn't move, still staring at the ground.

"I'm so much of an asshole I'm pretty sure it's a mental disease of some sort." Neji blinked at him, sitting down next to him.

"What makes you say that?" Sighing, the Uchiha leaned back, looking up at the sky. He told Neji everything that had happened and then fell quiet, not looking over at his friend. After a few seconds, he spoke up again.

"Are you going to hit me now?" Neji was quiet for a few moments before responding.

"Yes." Not surprising.

"'Kay." And then he had a headache to add to his list of pains as Neji hit him so hard in the head he was knocked over a few feet and then fell down the bleachers, landing on the ground headfirst. He stared blearily up at the sky, head hurting badly.

"...Ow. I deserved that." Neji's voice made it's way into his head via his ears.

"I'll say. What the hell were you thinking?!" Sasuke winced and tried to block out the sun.

"I don't know. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know why I said something stupid like that. I just..." He sighed, letting his arms drop again.

"I don't know. Can you hit me again?"

"Sure. Where?" His head hurt too much to take another blow.

"Kick me in the ribs, if you'd be so kind." A foot was suddenly driven in between his ribs, making him wince and roll over a bit.

"Nng...thanks..."

"Any time." It was so nice having a friend like Neji. You didn't get many friends who'd be willing to literally beat you up after you'd done something incredibly stupid. Getting onto his hands and knees, Sasuke shakily picked himself up. He didn't get any help from Neji, but he hadn't expected any so he wasn't surprised. His headache cleared a bit and he was able to see more clearly. Neji stood there, looking intensely pissed, arms crossed over his chest. Sasuke had no doubt that if he had been anyone else, Neji would have beaten him within an inch of his life. Sasuke slumped down onto the bleachers, closing his eyes and burying his head in his hands.

"I am so stupid." Neji sat down next to him, the pissed off look fading a bit.

"You need to go apologize to Naruto. He's the one you hurt." Sasuke sighed, leaning back again.

"I know. But if I'm right, he'd forgive me straight off and I'd feel worse. I'd rather he hate me for a bit." Neji understood that. It bugged him that Naruto forgave people so easily too. But what could he do? Naruto would be Naruto and that was that.

"You still-"

"Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke had no warning before Sakura suddenly attacked him with a hug, smashing his head into the metal bleacher. Neji was hit in the head by her knee and was knocked over. She didn't really notice though.

"Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun! I have something you'll definitely want to hear!" The only thing Sasuke 'definitely' wanted to hear from Sakura was that she wasn't his girlfriend and/or she had Asprin. Neji picked himself up, rubbing and glaring as Sakura hugged her boyfriend tightly. Sighing a bit, Sasuke pushed himself up and made sure Sakura didn't end up in his lap.

"What is it." The girl smiled brightly at him.

"My parents aren't coming home until late tonight and they said you could come over to help me with my homework!" Sakura didn't really need help with her homework. She was book smart, to the point of annoyance. Sasuke knew exactly what she was hinting at. He glanced at Neji, unsure what to really do. The Hyuuga didn't know either. Sighing, the Uchiha turned back to the pink-haired girl clinging to him.

"Okay. I'll walk you home." Sakura beamed so big her face should have broke. She was up and dragging Sasuke off before he could even say good-bye to his friend. Neji watched them leave, a sinking feeling in his chest.

Please, please don't let him do anything stupid.

Of course, he knew it was far, far too late for that.

**THE SPACE! IT'S BACK! NOOOOOO! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!**

Sasuke followed Sakura home, trying to figure out how to get his hand away from hers without her noticing it. It didn't seem like something that was possible. In the few years they'd been dating, Sakura still had yet to realize Sasuke wasn't really the cuddly-touchy-feely type. She still tried to hold his hand all the time. It suddenly occurred to Sasuke that he'd never been to Sakura's house. You'd thing he'd been there a few times, at least to meet her parents or do something together. But no. He always met her in public so she couldn't do anything and he sure as hell never let her near his house if he could help it. He always claimed that Itachi just didn't like casual visitors unless it was Kisame. Of course, Kisame practically lived at their house now, so he didn't count. And now he was going to Sakura's house, knowing full well what she wanted them to do. Meanwhile, his mind was firmly fixed on Naruto and he wasn't really in the mood for anything intimate. Unless with was with the blonde, of course. The realization that he was gay wasn't as shocking as Sasuke had thought it would be.

"We're here Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke blinked, looking up. It was a quaint house, he supposed. Nothing terribly special, just...a house. Of course, he didn't get a really good look at it as Sakura dragged him inside. She quickly shed her shoes, barely waiting for her boyfriend to do the same. Sasuke knew what was expected of him. Knowing Sakura, she'd told half the school that she and Sasuke would be alone tonight. And now everyone expected them to have sex. Mentally sighing, Sasuke pulled Sakura to him and pressed their lips together. She fit oddly against him, like two puzzle pieces that didn't match up. He was suddenly reminded of Naruto and how the blonde had kissed him. Trying desperately to push it from his mind, he closed his eyes and pushed Sakura back into the living room. His hands mechanically undid the buttons of her blouse as she undid his shirt. He barely registered the item of clothing falling to the ground, leaving his top half exposed. He pushed Sakura's blouse from her shoulders and pulled her close, feeling her body against his. And it made him sick. Her tongue pressing against his lips was slimy and disgusting. Holding her body was as arousing as holding a giant rock. He couldn't do this. He pushed her back, holding her at arms length.

"I can't..." Sakura blinked at him, surprised. Then she smiled in a gentle manner.

"It's okay Sasuke-kun. We're not doing anything wrong. And I want this, really." Sasuke shook his head, pushing her further back and letting her go. He bent down to pick up his shirt.

"No, no, that's not what I meant. I can't do this. I can't." Sakura's smile faded, replaced by confusion.

"What do you mean? What's wrong?" Sasuke shook his head again, pulling on his shirt.

"I can't do this with you. I don't love you. I can't be your boyfriend anymore." Confusion was replaced by shock.

"You're... you're dumping me?!" He nodded, buttoning his shirt up a bit and grabbing his shoes.

"We finally kiss and you decide to break up with me?! You can't do this! You can't! You can't!" Sasuke shook his head again, pulling his shoes on.

"I have to. I'm not your boyfriend anymore. I am breaking up with you." The pink-haired girl clenched her fists, following him to the entrance.

"You can't do this! We were about to sex! What about me?! What about my needs?! You can't do this to me! I waited so long for this! You can't do this to me! It's not fair! It's not fair!" Sasuke kept shaking his head, grabbing his bookbag and standing.

"I have to." He opened the front door and ran out, not looking back as Sakura began screaming at him. He didn't feel so bad about it. He'd needed to do this for a long time. Sakura would find someone else. He ran down the street, shirt still open slightly. And of course, on the way back, it started to rain. It was absolutely freezing cold. He didn't care though. There was something he needed to do. He ran all the way back to his street, stopping in front of Naruto's house and panting a bit. He was soaking wet and out of breath, but he didn't stop for long before running up to the front door and knocking frantically on it. Minato answered the door, stopping and staring at Sasuke. He had a half-eaten popsicle in his mouth and was wearing nothing more than a loose pair of orange pants and a towel over his shoulders. Sasuke panted a little, looking up at him.

"Can I...see...Naruto?" Minato stared at him for a few more seconds before pulling the popsicle out of his mouth and shouting up to his brother.

"Hey Naruto! Sasuke's here to see you!"

"Tell him he can go to hell!" Again, Minato blinked, more confused. He looked back at Sasuke.

"Did you two have a fight or something?" Sasuke leaned against the doorframe, closing his eyes and nodding.

"I was an idiot and I said something stupid to him." The older blonde nodded in a knowing manner.

"Gotcha. You here to apologize?"

"I was thinking about grovelling, but yeah." Minato nodded again.

"I see." He turned and sucked in a large breath, shouting upstairs.

"NARUTO! GET DOWN HERE AND TALK TO HIM YOURSELF!" There was quiet for a bit until Naruto finally came downstairs. Minato headed back to wherever he'd come from while Naruto came up to the door, glaring.

"What do you want." Sasuke straightened up, now looking down at the blonde.

"I wanted to apologize for what I said. I was-" The door slammed shut in his face before he could explain himself. Blinking, Sasuke stared at it for a few moments before it really sunk in. He'd really fucked up. Sighing, he sat down on the front porch and wrapped his arms around himself to keep warm. He wasn't leaving until he'd thoroughly apologized. If that meant he was going to be stuck here all night, sitting in the freezing rain, then so be it. Of course, twenty minutes later, his resolve was somewhat weakened. He'd hidden his bag under the bench on the porch so it wouldn't get wet, but there wasn't enough room for him to get under too and the whole porch was getting rained on. Also, it was really fucking cold. He shivered, curling up tightered and wrapping his arms around himself tightly. It'd be so easy to just walk home and take a nice, long, hot shower. But he was stubborn. He wasn't going to give up easily. And for once, his stubbornness paid off. The front door slammed open and a hand grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Get in here you idiot before you die!" Mentally grinning in victory, Sasuke grabbed his bag and let Naruto drag him inside. He was made to stand on a mat on the floor so he wouldn't drip water all over the house. Naruto dashed off and came back down with an armful of towels. He quickly wrapped Sasuke in them and dried him off enough to bring him upstairs to his room. Naruto's room was...interesting. It was more like a cozy cave than an actual room. There were a few mattresses on the floor in the corner, covered in thick blankets and pillows. There was a laptop beside the bed, plugged into the wall. Beanbag chairs were scattered randomly throughout the room, as were little knick-knacks, none having anything in common other than they were shiny. Naruto set a thick towel on the floor and sat Sasuke on it, closing his door.

"Geez, what the hell were you thinking? It's way too cold to be outside, especially with a thin shirt like that!" Sasuke dried his hair, nodding as he did.

"I know. But I had to apologize to you." Naruto threw another towel at his face.

"Couldn't it have waited until tomorrow?"

"No." The blonde rolled his eyes and went searching through a wardrobe, pulling out some extra clothes for Sasuke to wear.

"I wasn't going to go anywhere. Besides, shouldn't you be spending time with your 'girlfriend'?"

"I dumped her." Naruto stopped, blinking as his hand reached into the back for an extra shirt. He then turned to look at Sasuke, eyes wide in surprise and shock.

"You dumped her? Why?" Sasuke pulled off his shirt, drying his chest.

"Because I don't like her and I wasn't happy with her. You were right, and you told me so. I'm sorry."

"You're a jerk." Sasuke flinched, looking down at his hands. Naruto dropped a large T-shirt on his head, pouting at him.

"How the hell am I supposed to get enjoyment from saying 'I told you so' if you say it for me?" Now Sasuke was the one who was surprised. Naruto grinned cheekily at him and dropped a pair of blue boxers into his lap.

"Get dressed. I'll go call Itachi and tell him you're staying here tonight." Sasuke didn't have time to respond before Naruto skipped out of the room to go grab the phone. He wasn't quite sure what had just happened, but he was pretty sure he'd been forgiven. Fortunately it didn't bother him so much. Just as he'd finished dressing, Naruto came back in, giggling profusely. He fell onto the ground beside Sasuke, still laughing. The Uchiha cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What's up with you?" Naruto giggled again.

"I called them while they were going at it. Itachi answered but Kisame didn't seem too keen on stopping." Sasuke made a semi-disgusted face while Naruto began giggling harder.

"So they were screwing even as you were talking to them?" Wiggling in glee, Naruto nodded. Oddly enough, Sasuke could actually see that pretty vividly. Itachi on his stomach, picking up the phone and quickly telling Kisame to stop for a moment before answering, Kisame grinning that damn toothy grin of his and just continuing while Itachi tried to talk normally.

"They have no shame." Naruto just grinned at Sasuke.

"Well have you ever tried sex before?" Sasuke said nothing, which was just as good as an answer. In fact, it was an answer. The blonde's grin widened and he moved over so that his head was in Sasuke's lap, directly on his crotch.

"Maybe if you tried it you'd understand why they do it so much." Sasuke found he couldn't really find an answer to that, just staring down at the blonde so close to his hardening member. Naruto gave a sly grin and nuzzled him.

"So? You wanna try?" Sasuke just stared at him, unable to push his voice past his throat. Instead, he just nodded.

End of Chapter Five

Uh...well...look! Long chapter! Hides from stuff being thrown at her. Okay, so I don't have a good excuse as to why it's taken me so long to update. I've just been having trouble getting the creative juices flowing right. So...sorry! I hope you all like this!__


	6. You Know It's Not a Secret

A/N: Want to be working on my other story, but can't get the creative juices for it. TT TT So we're back to working on this.

Edit four months later: GOOD LORD. I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG. D: I'M SO SORRY.

**Yusin:** ;w; I gots a cookie... -noms on cookie- Yes, yes I want to do it again. More updating means more reviews which make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside like a little bitty puppy.

**IOnlyHaveYou:** w Thank you, and I will.

**Kutoki:** w I love Kisame and Itachi. They are awesomeness. Thanks for the review!

**Hyperdude: **Thank you! I try to do something different from the norm in my ideas while making sure they're not too different. So thank you!

**Lady Blade WarAngel: **Thank you, and thanks for reviewing!

**Greenboy313:** Aw, thank you! And thanks for reviewing!

**Princesspoison:** Thank you, and thanks for reviewing!

**Chapter Six: You Know It's Not a Secret**

"_Well have you ever tried sex before?" Sasuke said nothing, which was just as good as an answer. In fact, it was an answer. The blonde's grin widened and he moved over so that his head was in Sasuke's lap, directly on his crotch._

"_Maybe if you tried it you'd understand why they do it so much." Sasuke found he couldn't really find an answer to that, just staring down at the blonde so close to his hardening member. Naruto gave a sly grin and nuzzled him. _

"_So? You wanna try?" Sasuke just stared at him, unable to push his voice past his throat. Instead, he just nodded. _

Grinning, Naruto picked his head up, sliding forward to straddle the other teen. Sasuke didn't move, using one arm to hold himself up while he watched the other. He didn't know as much about sex as he would have liked, but Naruto seemed to know what he was doing. The blonde grinned more and rocked their hips together, eliciting a soft gasp from Sasuke's lips. Naruto ran his tongue over his lips slowly and Sasuke's eyes snapped to it, following it's trek over the soft, pink lips, moistening them. Instinctively, Sasuke leaned forward and caught the tongue with his teeth, pulling it into his mouth and pressing their lips together. Their bodies pressed together as well, arms twisting around each other and trying to get as close as possible. All cold from the rain was gone, replaced by the heat of Naruto's flesh. Sasuke wound his arms around the smaller, one hand going up into soft, golden locks while the other dipped down in Naruto's pants just slightly. Sasuke felt like he was on fire, tongue twisting with the blonde's, battling for dominance and drinking in the taste. They finally broke for air and Naruto grabbed Sasuke's bottom lip with his teeth, grinning foxishly. He tugged on it, sucking it into his mouth a little and nibbling on it. His hands stroked Sasuke's back as they came around to his front and pushed his still wet shirt off his shoulders. Sasuke helped get it off, tossing it somewhere else.

That gone, Naruto pushed the Uchiha onto his back, laying full on top of him. He let go of Sasuke's lip, using his tongue to coax the boy into playing. Sasuke licked the tongue that ran over his lips, hands coming up to grab the hem of Naruto's shirt. Their tongues began to play again, lips just barely brushing together in most teasing of touches. Warm breath washed over his face, exciting him more and more. They broke apart for a few agonizing seconds to allow Naruto's shirt to come off before their lips locked together again. Sasuke tried to bring Naruto even closer to him, holding him tightly, stroking his body almost possessively. Naruto gave a feral purr, grinding against the normally stoic teen and biting down on Sasuke's bottom lip. Growling, Sasuke flipped their positions, now on top of the blonde. He lay fully on top of Naruto, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of those arms wrapping around his neck, clinging to him tightly. His own arms went down, gripping the edge of Naruto's pants. Naruto groaned and lowered his hands, slipping them just below Sasuke's waistband.

And then the door opened.

"Hey Naruto, I brought you guys some-" Sasuke's eyes went wide and his head snapped up to the door, as did Naruto's. Minato stood there, mouth left hanging open and eyes wide as he took in the sight of his younger brother underneath Sasuke, the Uchiha's hands in his pants. In his hands was a tray with two steaming cups of tea and a few onigiri. It was deathly quiet for several seconds, Naruto and Sasuke staring at Minato and vice versa. Sasuke suddenly felt like this was a good time to leap out the window and run like hell. Naruto apparently thought so too. He leapt up, grabbing Sasuke's bag and tossing it to him.

"Run Sasuke!" The Uchiha leapt up, and yanked the window open, leaping out. Minato came back to his senses and dashed towards the window, reaching for Sasuke, fingertips just brushing his back.

"Get _back_ here you pedo-rapist! I'll teach you to try and take my otouto-chan's virginity!" Sasuke hit the ground and rolled, running down the street as fast as he could for his house. His shirt and shoes were still in Naruto's room, but it wasn't too long of a run to his house from here. He prayed Naruto would be able to keep Minato from coming after him and killing him. He finally made it home, once again soaked and cold. And this time, he only had on a pair of pants. He leaned against his front door and panted, mentally cursing. So...damn...close. Sighing, he opened the door and stepped inside, dropping his bag and walking into the living room. And it was there that he got an eyeful of Kisame and Itachi, completely naked and fucking on the couch. He stopped and stared, mouth half open. Neither noticed him, just continuing what they were doing. Itachi moaned, arms wrapped around Kisame's neck, head tilted back to allow the shark teen to bite his neck, legs spread so Kisame could lay between them. Kisame was on top of him, one arm bracing himself above the older Uchiha, other hand gripping Itachi's ass and thrusting into him. Sasuke couldn't even move, eyes taking in every damn detail. He stood there, staring, unable to tear his eyes away and run back outside, watching them finish what they were doing right there, on the living room couch. Finally, Itachi came with a loud cry, Kisame finishing not long after. They lay there, entangled together and panting in a satisfied manner. Then Itachi lazily opened his eyes, spotting Sasuke in the entrance. And then his eyes snapped open, little pricks of black in a large expanse of white.

"Sasuke?!" Kisame blinked.

"What? Sasuke?" He looked over his shoulder and his own eyes widened.

"Oh shi-Sasuke! Uh...I uh...we thought...you were at Barbie's..." It got a little quiet, the three staring at each other, Itachi blushing slightly and trying to cover himself while Kisame just stared. Finally, Sasuke managed to regain some semblance of his brain and swallowed, closing his eyes.

"I'm going to back out now...and keep my eyes closed...and when I come back in...please be upstairs. I'm going to pretend this didn't happen...and I'm going to call you down...and you're going to ask what happened...and I never saw this." He backed out, turning around and facing the front door. He could hear the two in the living room scrambling up and running upstairs quickly. He waited a few minutes before turning back around and walking back in.

"Itachi, I'm home." The elder Uchiha came down, a bit out of breath and hastily pulling his hair into a ponytail. He was wearing a pair of black boxers and Kisame's shirt, still slightly flushed. He looked Sasuke up and down as he buttoned up the shirt a little more.

"What happened? I thought you were staying at Naruto's." Sighing, Sasuke dropped onto one of the stool's in the kitchen and rested his head on the counter.

"I thought so too. But..." He waved a hand, putting it back down. Itachi turned on the eletric kettle, leaning against the counter.

"But?" Sighing again, the younger Uchiha lifted his head and rested his chin on his folded arms.

"Well, we started kissing and it was getting pretty intimate until his older brother walked in on us. I kind of had to jump out the window to escape and I left my shirt and shoes." Itachi nodded a little.

"That explains your...attire." Sasuke glared a bit, but decided not to comment on Itachi's attire. Kisame came in, just wearing his pants since Itachi had his shirt. Sasuke had to admit, Kisame was a pretty good specimen if you're looking for a muscular guy to screw you into the floor. The larger teen kissed Itachi on his temple, reaching over him to take out a few cups for tea.

"Maybe you should try the intimate thing with Barbie here." Sasuke sighed a bit.

"Yeah...I'll try and sneak him here when his brother's not looking." Itachi poured them tea.

"I'll go buy you condoms and lubricant. What size are you?" Sasuke gave Itachi a semi-disturbed look, but the other ignored it.

"Are...are you joking?" Itachi rolled his eyes.

"No Sasuke, I really am interested in how big my little brother's dick is. Of course I'm joking. Go buy your own condoms." Kisame grinned, draping a blanket over Sasuke's shoulders.

"We'll get you lubricant though." Sasuke sighed, pulling the blanket around him. He just now remembered he was cold and wet. Itachi set a cup of hot tea in front of his little brother, handing one to Kisame and keeping one for himself. The younger Uchiha took a swig, not minding how hot it was.

"Thanks." Itachi shrugged, sitting on the counter.

"I'm your legal guardian. I have to at least pretend I care about you." Snorting, Sasuke finished his tea and decided he needed to go to bed.

"I'm going to sleep." Kisame waved a bit, turning his attention to Itachi almost immediately. The knowledge that they were about to have sex right on the counter actually helped Sasuke get to sleep faster by making him more tired.

**OM NOM NOM IT'S 12:45 HERE AND IT'S AM OM NOM NOM**

Sasuke sat in the back of Kisame's truck, looking out the window and debating if he should run back home as soon as they reached school. Unsurprising, Kisame stayed the night. Also unsurprising, neither he nor Itachi got that much sleep last night. So now the shark teen was driving them both to school. School was actually not Sasuke's favorite place right now. He'd broken up with Sakura yesterday, and being the gossip queen of Konoha High, everyone would know by the time he got there. And even if they didn't, they would by lunch. They arrived at school, Sasuke still debating over if he wanted to run. Itachi twisted around to face his little brother.

"Naruto's waiting for you." That certainly shifted the debate. After a few seconds, Sasuke got out with the other two and spotted the blonde...in the midst of the Akatsuki. Well, it could be worse. He'd figure out how later. He'd never walked into school beside Itachi. Not in several years at least. And yet here they were, walking in together. Or at least headed to the same group together. As soon as they got there, Itachi grabbed Sasuke's arm and dragged him over so he couldn't escape.

"Where are Sasori and Deidara?" Hidan grumbled something about useless drama while Pein answered.

"They had another argument and broke up permanently this time." Kisame cocked an eyebrow.

"Permanently? How can you tell?"

"Deidara hooked up with Tobi." Sasuke made a bit of a face.

"The schizo?" Naruto grinned at him.

"Yup. Kooky, ain't it? They seem to be getting along pretty well, especially now that Tobi's on his meds." Sasuke glanced at him, Naruto glancing back and grinning. Sasuke couldn't help the small smile that tugged on his own lips a bit as he turned his attention back to the group. Kakuzu and Hidan got into a fight about Kakuzu's gambling habits. Apparently, it went against Hidan's religion and he was trying to make his boyfriend knock it off. However, Kakuzu was amazingly good at betting and gambling and refused to give up a hobby that got him so much money. Money that he incidentally spent on Hidan, but the religious teen didn't need to know that. After spending a few minutes with the Akatsuki gang, Sasuke decided it was just about time to go. And like hell he was leaving without Naruto. He grabbed the blonde's arm, dragging him off before he could even really say good-bye. He led the other around the school, heading towards the football field. First period was closest to the door. However, Naruto had a different idea. When they reached the bleachers, Naruto grinned and suddenly took over, dragging Sasuke behind the stands. There was only one reason kids went behind here and Sasuke grinned, following easily. Once there, he pushed the blonde up against the wall, locking their lips together. Naruto wrapped his arms around the other's neck, eyes fluttering closed. Sasuke rested one arm against the wall by Naruto's head, the other going down to stroke his hip. He slid it around to grip the other's ass, grinding their hips together. Their tongues clashed, entwining with each other and bringing them even closer. However, Naruto pulled back and held up a hand to Sasuke's mouth.

"We have to get to class." Sasuke snorted a bit, nibbling on the blonde's fingertips and lowering his head to kiss and suckle on Naruto's palm. Naruto shivered, letting the Uchiha continue.

"I'm serious, we'll get in trouble..." Sasuke turned the hand over to nibble on the knuckles.

"Mm-hm..." Sighing a bit, the blonde closed his eyes again and leaned against the wall while Sasuke held onto his hand. Sasuke grinned and kissed each knuckle, lips moving up the other's arm and then to his throat. He placed his hands on either side of the blonde's head, sucking and nibbling on his neck. His mouth moved up to his ear, licking at it and nibbling on it gently. Naruto purred, tilting his head. He suddenly snapped back to his senses and pouted at the other.

"I mean it!" Smirking, Sasuke pulled back and kissed the other on the lips.

"Okay. We'll try again later." Naruto smiled and kissed Sasuke back, moving off the wall.

"Sure." Sasuke suddenly pinned him back, looking him straight in the eye.

"I mean it." Naruto seemed surprised at this, but he smiled and slid his arms back around Sasuke's neck.

"I know you do. I believe you." Satisfied, Sasuke nodded and pulled away. Naruto grinned and took his hand, leading him inside and to class. Neji and Lee were there, Neji smiling a bit when he saw that they'd made up. Minato, on the other hand, glared at Sasuke as if he were trying to murder his little brother. Did so for the whole class. On the bright side, he didn't randomly attack him in the middle of a lecture, but that was just a small plus. At the end of class, Sasuke beat a hasty retreat while Naruto tried to diffuse his older brother. While waiting for the blonde outside, he noticed Sakura talking to some of her friends. She purposefully caught his eye and then looked away with a huff. Not that it bothered Sasuke in the slightest. However, it did bother him a little when his classmate Karin came over, all smiles.

"Hey Sasuke-kun, is it true you dumped that skank Haruno?" Sakura looked outraged, having caught that bit of the conversation. Sasuke blinked at the redhead, face emotionless once again.

"We broke up." The redheaded girl smiled coyly, sliding closer.

"_That's_ a relief. You weren't a very good couple anyway. And since you're now single...I was hoping-"

"I'm not single." Karin's smile was derailed, as was the rest of her image.

"You're not...but who-" Naruto came out at that point, shouldering his bag.

"Hey, sorry I made you wait!" Sasuke turned to him, grinning a bit.

"Not a problem. You coming?" Naruto smiled and took Sasuke's hand in his, letting the Uchiha lead him down the hall. Karin stared after them, as did Sakura. The pink-haired girl had a shocked look on her face, one that made Sasuke feel rather smug. Everyone stared as they headed to gym hand in hand, both grinning a bit in their own way.

**EVERYBODY DO THE DUM DADI DO DANCE! DUM DADI DO! DUM DUM DI DOODI DUM! DANCE IT TO THE BEAT!**

Sasuke leaned back in the bleachers, watching people down on the gym floor stretch. Naruto sat on his right, sipping on a giant soda that Kisame had bought for him. They were in the gym after school to watch the fight club. There was something about watching the best fighters in the school go at it on the mat that was amazingly entertaining. And of course, the teacher for said club was Zabuza. Being a fighting junkie, it wasn't too surprising that he would head the fighting club. Sasuke usually came to watch the fights with Neji. Now Neji was watching it with Lee, but Sasuke was cool with that since he had Naruto. As he watched the fighters warm up and go through a few sparring drills, Sasuke noticed someone new. It was a young girl, one who he was sure didn't go to this school. She was around their age with long black hair and pale skin. She was sitting off to the side on one of the gymnastics beams, watching the fighters with this far-off look in her eyes. Zabuza came over to her, her eyes instantly going up to his face and lips pulling into a small smile. They spoke quietly together, making Sasuke raise an eyebrow. Zabuza wasn't really a kid person, but he seemed pretty friendly with the girl. He finally straightened, motioning for her to follow him. He led her across the gym and up the bleachers to where Sasuke and Naruto were. The Uchiha and the blonde followed their progress up until they were looking up at their semi-demonic sensei.

"Oi, Uchiha, blondie." Sasuke looked up from his spot draped over two of the rows.

"Yeah?" Zabuza jerked his head to the girl behind him.

"This here's Haku. Keep him company for me." Sasuke blinked, a bit surprised as Haku just smiled and waved to them. He was an awfully pretty boy. Naruto grinned up at his sensei.

"Sure thing!" Nodding, Zabuza turned and affectionately pet Haku's head before heading back down. Haku watched him go down before turning his eyes to the two before him. Naruto grinned up at him, scootching closer to Sasuke and patting the space beside him.

"Come sit. My name's Naruto, and this is Sasuke." Haku smiled at them and sat down.

"It's nice to meet you. My name's Haku." His voice was pleasant. It also didn't help support the fact that he was a boy, not a girl. Naruto grinned at him, leaning back against the bleachers a bit.

"So what's with you and Zabu-sensei? You related?" Haku smiled and shook his head.

"No, not exactly. He's...my caretaker, I suppose." Sasuke raised an eyebrow. This was the first he'd heard of Zabuza taking care of a kid.

"How long has he been your caretaker?" Haku paused, tilting his head up slightly in thought.

"Mm...eight years or so, I believe." Sasuke's eyebrows rose up further. Eight years? That was pretty long. How had he kept him a secret? And why was he even taking care of him anyway? Before he could even think to ask the questions in his mind, Naruto stood up, waving to Neji and Lee.

"Hey! Up here guys!" The two looked up as they came in, waving to Naruto and heading for him. And of course, not far behind them were the girls who came to cheer the fighters on and maybe flirt with them afterwards. Sakura was there, naturally. Once again, she purposefully caught Sasuke's eye and then looked away again. It was kind of weird, not to mention childish and petty. Was she trying to make him feel guilty or something? Whatever it was she was after, she wasn't getting it. Sasuke moved over so Neji and Lee could sit next to them and Naruto grinned. Without warning, the blonde dropped into his lap, sucking on his soda. Sasuke blinked, but then just grinned and stretched out again, one arm casually around Naruto's waist. Yes, it felt good to be king. Haku just smiled at them, moving over for Neji and Lee as well. After introductions and poking a little bit of fun at Sasuke and his new-found relationship with Naruto, as well as his break-up with Sakura, the group settled back and watched the fights start up.

The first fight was a somewhat scrawny kid named Suigetsu going up against...someone Sasuke didn't really care about. He knew it was someone from a different school. As Suigetsu proceeded to beat the poor kid to a pulp, Sasuke's eyes trailed over the spectators. Some real characters generally showed up to these things. Some wanted to see if there'd be any bloodshed, others wanted to flirt with the cute guys who fought. And some just wanted to try and get extra credit from Kakashi or Zabuza. Mostly Kakashi.

As usual, the Akatsuki were there to cheer on their fighting teammates. Deidara and Sasori were pointedly ignoring each other Sasuke noted with slight amusement. Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi and Kisame were in the fighting club, leaving the others to cheer them on. Orochimaru was leaning against the wall near the door, having come to support Itachi as he was wont to do. And for some reason, Iruka-sensei was there. He was sitting near the top of the bleachers, watching quietly. Sasuke regarded the brunette for a bit, somewhat confused. Iruka wasn't really one to enjoy watching a bunch of kids beat the blood out of each other. And since that was the whole reason for coming, why was he there?

"Sasuke," Naruto said, interrupting his thoughts. "I know Iruka-sensei is pretty and everything, but you're missing some guy trying to flirt with your brother." Reflexively, Sasuke's head snapped back to see one of the fighters from the opposing school making a move on Itachi. From the bored and dead-pan expression on his brother's face, it wasn't hard to tell he wasn't going about it too well. Lee and Neji were paying attention as well, hoping for some bloodshed. They were not disappointed. Just as the guy reached forward to touch Itachi's face, Kisame grabbed half his hand and wrist in a bone-crushing grip, dragging him onto the mat that had just been vacated. Zabuza and Kakashi noticed this, but no one really tried to stop him. The fight commenced...and Kisame literally beat the blood out of the poor sap. Not even halfway through people started cheering for Kisame.

"Yeah!! Beat him up Jaws!! Break his legs!", Naruto cheered whole-heartedly. Sasuke actually laughed at this. He found violence funny. He glanced over at Haku, hoping that the boy was okay with this. He was a bit surprised to see the feminine boy actually covering his mouth to hide an amused smile. He smirked slightly, turning back to the fight and watching as Kisame actually _did_ break one of the guy's legs. Some would think this cruel, but all fighters had signed a form stating they knew the dangers and were cool with it. So no one would be suing the shark-like teen. Itachi was watching on the sideline's, a satisfied smirk on his lips. Finally, Kisame left the idiot on the mat nearing unconsciousness, heading over to his boyfriend and proceeding to mark his territory in what had to be a rather brutal kiss. The Akatsuki gang whistled at them, to which Itachi responded by flicking them off.

Naruto sat back in Sasuke's lap, grinning as he set his empty drink down and wrapping Sasuke's other arm around his waist. As the next fight began, Sasuke found that he was getting rather distracted by the tan neck just a few inches from his nose. Squeezing the blonde tightly, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to the skin, smirkiing as he felt the other shiver in his arms. Neji and Lee were too distracted by the fights to notice, as was Haku. This gave Sasuke the chance to nip and suckle at the spot his lips touched, hand reaching down just a tad further. Naruto shivered again, pressing back against him almost eagerly. He kept his mouth closed to muffle any moans that threatened to spill out. However, Sasuke just _loved_ pushing people.

He pushed the blonde's shirt up a little, stroking his heated flesh and rocking his hips up slightly. He was rewarded with a shuddering sigh from the one in his lap, something that made him grin more. Just as he was about to move up to the other's ear, a dangerous voice spoke up behind him.

"Uchiha," Minato growled warningly. Both Sasuke and Naruto stiffened, Naruto quickly slipping out of Sasuke's lap and laughing nervously at his brother.

"Ah ha...h-hey there bro!" Sasuke sank down a bit further, face heating up.

_Damn it!,_ he mentally swore. _Why does he have to keep interrupting?!_

He didn't dare say that out loud though. Haku suddenly noticed the younger Uchiha's plight and smiled charmingly up at Minato.

"You must be Minato-sensei, correct?", he asked sweetly. Minato seemed slightly derailed as he looked over at Haku, blinking a little.

"Uh...yeah...and you are...?" Haku just smiled at him.

"My name's Haku. Zabuza-sama has told me about you." Minato didn't seem to be able to recover from having Haku smile at him like that. It was then that Sasuke decided Haku was indeed a dangerous person. The feminine boy moved up a row to chat happily with the teacher, whom was trying to focus on making sure Sasuke and Naruto didn't do anything while paying attention to Haku at the same time. Lee and Neji blinked, looking over to try and figure out what had been going on. They got distracted when Hidan smashed some guy's nose.

"Don't you _dare_ insult my religion you heathen bastard!"

**I GOT SOMETHIN', AND IT GOES THUMPIN' LIKE THIS**

Sasuke sat in the bed of Kisame's truck with Naruto, Neji, Lee and Haku. They (Naruto and Sasuke) were waiting for Kisame and Itachi to come out from changing into street clothes so they could head home. Lee and Neji were keeping them company, and Haku was waiting for Zabuza. The conversation had started as reviewing the fights, then had somehow turned to focusing in on Haku and his relationship to their hard-ass teacher.

"So do you just go to a different school?", Neji questioned. Haku shook his head, ever-present smile still on his lips.

"No, I'm home-schooled. One of Zabuza-sama's friends teaches me and another boy, Ranmaru." Naruto looked down at him from the side of the truck where he sat next to Sasuke. (Haku had managed to talk Minato into a state of confusion so he let his little brother go home with Sasuke. Again, Sasuke deemed Haku a very dangerous person.)

"So, what, he just keeps some pretty under-aged boy in his house?", the blonde asked. Neji blinked slightly, answering without really thinking.

"Kinky." Naruto snickered at this while Lee looked rather embarrassed. Haku's cheeks pinkened a little, but he laughed a little himself, holding his hands up.

"No, nothing like that. I just help him by doing chores and cooking for him in return for sheltering me." Naruto snorted.

"Okay, I'm sorry, but that practically _defines_ kinky." Haku laughed a little at this again, rubbing the side of his neck.

"I suppose it does, doesn't it," he admitted. Before this particular topic could go down further, a rough voice cut off Naruto (whom had been about to speak up again).

"Haku, let's go!", Zabuza called from near his car. Haku turned to him immediately.

"Coming!", he called back. He quickly waved to the group before jogging over to his care-taker, getting into the passenger's side. Zabuza nodded somewhat approvingly, dropping his stuff into the trunk before heading for the driver's side.

"You lot have a test Monday on pressure points. Don't forget." Neji gave a one-armed wave.

"Yes sir."

"Bring Haku around more often! He's totally cute!", Naruto called after the man. Zabuza paused for a split second before getting into the car and heading out of the parking lot. Sasuke snorted, watching him leave.

"Because of you Haku may never see the light of day again."

"I'm sure he'll be back soon enough," Naruto said with a grin. Lee frowned slightly, mostly in confusion.

"Why does someone like Zabuza-sensei even have someone like Haku living with him?" The group was about to start saying their theories (most of which were similar to the 'kinky sex slave' theory), Itachi and Kisame showed up. Kisame opened a hatch on the floor of the truckbed, tossing in his and Itachi's bags.

"Sorry kiddos, we gotta head off."

"Zabuza-sensei keeps a kid our age at his house as a sex slave," Naruto said in all seriousness. Kisame and Itachi both stopped to blink a bit at that thought. Itachi shivered slightly.

"I do _not_ want to know about my teacher's sex life," he said as he climbed into the front. Kisame closed the hatch, climbing in behind the wheel.

"Me neither," he agreed. Naruto grinned a bit at them as Neji and Lee hopped off the vehicle. Moving off the edge, the blonde grabbed the flap and pulled it up so that it locked into place.

"Later Neji, later eyebrows."

"See you two Monday." As Sasuke and Naruto crawled into the bed, back's against the cab, they waved to Neji and Lee. Kisame started the truck, heading off for the Uchiha house, since they were all staying there tonight. Sasuke noticed, once the two they'd left thought they couldn't see, Neji wrap his arms around Lee's neck and the other wrap his arms around the Hyuuga's waist, their heads moving intimately close.

_Figures_, the Uchiha thought to himself. He wasn't too sad, since Naruto sidled closer to him and kissed his cheek.

**End of Chapter Six**

Too tired. Contacts blurring. School in the morning. Leg in pain. G'night. Drop a review. Don' kill me. ducks


	7. Announcement

Hello everyone! No, sorry, this isn't a new chapter unfortunately. This is effectively a...warning? Not really that dramatic. More like an announcement, actually. I just finished a nine day writing camp that has left me with a new appreciation for writing. It also helped me find my own voice in writing, which I want to exercise. So I'm going to be rewriting the stories I have going on. They might change drastically, depending on how things end up. In fact I'm kind of expecting them to. I hope you'll be pleased with the result.

I will not be taking my old stories down, however. I will be adding '- Will Not be Completed' to the end. I know it bothered me when people took down their stories that I was reading and really liked, completed or otherwise. So even though I'm going to be rewriting them, a lot of people like what I've already done. I'll leave them up for you to come back to and reminisce if you like. You can even continue them on your own if you really like this particular strain.

I'm sorry if you're upset by this, but keep an eye out for the rewritten stories and hopefully you'll like them just as much.


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